Dave and Pam's Story

To keep everyone updated on how my brother-in-law is doing, we've created a blog for them. I've also put a link to it on my sidebar. Please keep them in prayer, they desperately need it!

We are still working on the blog to get it all updated so it's a work in progress. To check it out:

www.daveandpamstory.blogspot.com

CPR Class

Last week, the two older kids had a CPR class. I thought that would be a great idea since they are getting to the age that I am able to use them for babysitting the younger ones. This whole concept of leaving them alone was a new change for me. I can't believe that they are already that old. Then, I'll have conversation with them and it's very evident that they are. They have minds of their own! I've known this since they were younger than two but when one has half an inch before I'll be needing to start looking up to talk to him, that change is staring you in the face.

There was a lady in our homeschool group that use to have her license in CPR training but has let it lapse. She was willing to give the class but the kids aren't certified. Really, I just wanted them to have the information and the knowledge to know what to do should something awful happen when I'm not there.

She was great with the kids. They enjoyed her class and it was very interactive which was wonderful for a hand's on learning experience. Mrs. Cathy was a great sport at being one of the victim's. Her son worked with her and we all had some fun watching it!

The kids learned so many things and I am relieved that they are familiar with what to do. I was concerned about Grace to begin with. She freaks out everytime something happens. Her way of dealing with it is to run in her bedroom and hide. Not a good way to deal with an emergency situation.

A few years ago, we had a few traumatic things happen like my husband getting bit by the neighbors dog with lots of blood, then Aaron who was eight months old (at the time) fall down the stairs hitting his head on the GFCI again with lots of blood, and our three year old (at the time) eating what he thought was candy when it really was some of my mother's medicine. Hopefully, with some extra assurance on what to do in those situations, I'm hopeful they will be able to apply what they learned.

The kids had fun rolling each other on the floor so they wouldn't choke should the victim throw up, they were shown how to create a sling for a broken arm, given instruction on how to never pull an embedded object out of someone, choking and all about snake venom.

When the class was over, I was informed that if Grace was my help in time of need, I'm a gonner.....should I be worried????

It's Time To Order

This is the month I get lots of catalogs. Homeschooling catalogs, that is. It's time to start thinking about purchasing new curriculum for the new year. Some catalogs I toss but some I browse through. There is so much available, it's hard to choose.

We've been using the Lifepacs and Horizon's through Alpha Omega which I love mixed with some Abeka. Every child has a different learning style so I try to add things that will help each one of them learn. I also try to throw things in there that they are interested in. For instance, Ryan is into dinosaurs so I got him a sticker book on dinosaur's and a Kumon book that had a paper dinosaur to put together. He's a hand's on kind of learner and those work for him.

This next year, I'm looking to add a little bit of Bob Jone's (BJU) to our curriculum. I've heard a lot of good things about their curriculum. I do know they are legalistic in their views and so I'm concerned about that coming through in how they present their material. However, I usually am reading along side with the kids, so it may present some good discussion too. If it gets too confusing for them, I may switch back. Sometimes, it's good to freshen things up a bit with something different.

There is so many neat books available that sometimes I get too excited and buy way too much. You can only fit so much in one year. Come to think of it, I guess those catalogs come at a great time of year. About April, the kids are ready to be done with school (truthfully, they are ready to be done by the second week of September) and I'm trying to push them to keep going but when we start looking through the catalogs, planning for the new year, it seems to inspire them a little bit.....emphasis on little. I'll take what I can get.

Getting Together

I don't want to let a very dear friend of mine down as she is certain our adventures of last night will hit my blog. So here it is.....

Bob and I haven't been out much together lately. We really were making a pointed effort to go on dates whether they be for dinner or just a five minute date to Starbucks. Then, when we decided to take on the care of Barbara and Sharlene, that had to be put aside. It was tough. But now, the girls are gone and somehow between homeschooling, having our own business, field trips, park trips, church and so on, we just haven't gotten back into our groove of dating.

Some very good friends of ours invited us (without the children) over for dinner and fellowship. As I sprinted to the car (not looking back once), it felt so odd and unfamiliar to not have to put someone in a car seat, lug the diaper bag, yell for someone to just-get-in-car, run back in the house for something else I just couldn't carry because I don't have eight arms. It's nice sometimes to be reminded you aren't just a mother but a wife too.

On the way to our friends house, I looked over at my husband and realized that his shirt was inside out. So I mentioned it to him. He glanced over at me with a sassy smirk. "I put the shirt on, dear, how it was on the hanger," he said. "I put it on the hanger the way it came out of the dryer, dear," was my response. I thought he would have been happy that it actually got on the hanger and was not a wadded up, wrinkled mess. Apparently, he expects me to make sure his shirts are right side out too. Ugghhh....the pressure. Next thing you know, he'll be wanting me to use that thing that heats up really hot, has steam and you apply it to a piece of clothing that has wrinkles. I think I have one of those in a box....somewhere. I prefer to refluff.....it works like magic.

We pulled off into some parking lot of a closed nursery to do the changeroo. He was trying to be all sly about it. Off the shirt came hoping the tinted windows were enough to give off some amount of privacy. Then, he stepped out of the car to undo his belt to tuck it in. As he's tucking and buckling, a little old man comes walking around the corner with a tilted head and a raised eyebrow. He's probably still wondering what was going on.

The telling of our adventure was quite the ice breaker. We met with a couple other couples who we don't know very well or haven't met at all before. I can only imagine what kind of impression we made. It was a good laugh.

After the evening came to a close and we were driving home, we both were in agreement that we need to get out together more often. It was really fun being a couple.

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Today is my very good friend's birthday. She's an amazing woman who I've had the pleasure of being friends with for a very long time. She's sassy, has an awesome sense of humor, has the ability to make me laugh till my sides hurt and isn't afraid to tell me what she thinks. Her love of her family and for God are an inspiration to me. She always knows how to smack me back into reality when it's needed and she always seems to know when I need a 'pie' night. Her friendship is truly something that I cherish. Happy Birthday, Lisa!!

A Prayer Request: Update

Over the last month, my brother-in-law has been in the hospital. He has made some improvement but not substantial. He has, however, amazed the doctors that he's still here. They honestly thought he was not going to make it that first week. We are so thankful for extra time and for hope. Hope is such an important emotion to hang on to. Our hope is in the Lord. He has his hand on Dave and whether He choses to heal him or take him home, we have to put our trust in Him.

I admit this is a hard task to do. I've been a Christian for a long time and still find myself wondering why these horrible things happen. It's so hard to trust, so hard to leave it in His hands. I suppose God knows that. I often have found myself asking God if he's checked my mental capacity to handle this or that. That perhaps, He should double check....just to make sure. There is one thing I know for sure and it's that His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His love is greater than my love. God cares about Dave passionately and His will, will be done.

My heart is so sad, so sad for Pam and all that she is having to handle, so sad that my family is hurting, so sad that Dave is so sick.

Dave has started running fevers again. What the doctors have found is bacteria that has developed in the left lung around the chest tube. There is a possibility that it is also around his heart. They will be doing tests to confirm that.

He is in very critical shape. Please continue to pray for him and for his family.

Not Again???!!

Guess what today is? Yep, it's Sunday. The day we go to church. It is also the day that burns through my energy faster than Lightening McQueen on the raceway.

Today, I woke up to beautiful sun shining and warm air breezing through my window. What a nice way to wake up. I thought to myself, it's going to be a great day. I came downstairs, made the coffee, and cooked breakfast. We were off to a great start. Off I went to take a shower.

As I was trying to get the kids ready, that is when it hit. The 'I don't like church' and the 'do I have to go', 'Is Brad staying home so I can stay home with him', 'How about Dad, is he staying home' or how about this one....I already learned about God, He doesn't have parents comment from my six year old. Then there was the four year old having a bit of a fit, laying on the floor stomping his feet. I asked him if he was throwing a temper tantrum and he said no, mom. I then proceeded to ask him what all the foot stomping was and his reply.....it's just acting, Mom. Sigh. I am still stumped on this one. I loved going to church when I was a kid. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they give me such a hard time.

They make the classes fun. They have actors that act out Bible stories, they have the traveling musicians and they do crafts. They also have L-O-U-D music. What else is there? I think my kids must be just weird. They'd rather sit with me which I'm mostly ok with.

On this particular day, Kara seemed a bit out of sorts. Bob said maybe one of us should stay home with her because what was going to happen was that she would end up not going in her class and I would spend the whole time chasing her around. I p'shawed that thought and told him she would be alright. Famous last words.....

Bob dropped Kara off at her class or should I say they peeled her from Bob while she was kicking and screaming. Now mostly, we just leave her for a few minutes and she settles down and is fine. However, in the process of our little wildcat flailing her hands and feet to all who came near her, she fell back and whammed her head on the wall. Of course, I couldn't leave her with that happening.

So I stood in the class with the diaper bag and purse in one hand while I have her in the other. Every time I'd even get a notion to put her down the flailing of the arms and legs would go wild. So I thanked the ladies for trying but I would just take my little wildcat and go sit with her in the atrium. Well, that didn't work either because now that she is almost two, sitting in my lap for more than three minutes just isn't going to happen.

So at the end of the atrium is some couches which I thought maybe would be better for her so she wouldn't disturb people too much. That worked for about ten minutes until she discovered the exit. Did you know that if you push the handicap button the doors will open. Yep, they do and she did. Visualize me running down the hall in my not so flat shoes, chasing a two year old who has escaped out of the church. Sigh.

I caught her and brought her back to the couch where she screamed her head off along with her flailing arms and legs and then proceeded to spit in my face. She learned that little trick from Barbara and Sharlene which we haven't been able to break her of yet. At that point, I was sweaty from chasing and fighting with her, my hair was every which way, my heart was pounding and I was about in tears. So I crept back to where Bob was sitting with the other kids and told him I'd be outside.

For the rest of the sermon, I sat in the car with a almost two year old who clearly was ready for a nap. I was rehashing all that Bob had said earlier that morning. Perhaps, I should have just stayed home with her. I certainly didn't hear the message. Thank goodness I can catch it online. I do wonder though.....am I the only mother who has impossible Sundays because I scanned the parking lot and I clearly was the only one out there. I suppose I could start a Sunday morning Bible study for crazed mothers out in the parking lot. Anybody interested????

A Prayer Request

I can't even begin to properly express all the emotions you go through when someone you care about is hit with health complications. It's freaky. You want to help them ease through that somehow but you can't.....you feel helpless. You watch them as they decline and wait. You pray your heart out and plead with God to spare them....to heal them. We are believing and trusting in God's will. That can be incredibly tough even for the most dedicated Christian. We so desperately want God's will to be done but at the same time we so desperately want things like this to go away. You have put your trust in God's hands and leave it there. I struggle with that. I want to be able to do something about it. Obviously, God's still working with me on that.

My brother-in-law has been fighting non-hodgkin's lymphoma for several years. He ended up having a bone marrow transplant and that literally saved his life. However, those cute little drugs they gave him killed his spleen which makes him very susceptible to everything.

Right now, he's on a ventilator, a feeding tube, a chest tube inserted to drain off fluids from his lungs and is heavily sedated. He was diagnosed with Staph A pneumonia. He is fighting for his life again. He's been this way for three weeks with very, very little improvement.

My sister-in-law is eight months pregnant, has had to take a leave of absence from work, drop out of this semester's classes at college just to try to take care of her children and husband.

In the midst of this, Dave and Pam both have managed to continue to reach out to their family, friends and community. I am amazed at Dave's, 'life is great' attitude. You truly can see God's hand on his life.

If you could take a moment to lift them up in prayer, I would be so grateful.

Don't Let Her Fool You!

I can't believe our baby is going to be two in just a few weeks. How did that happen so fast? She's chatting up a storm and using big words like....Toontown. If you don't know what that it, it's an online video game that my kids play and she goes nuts over. She knows all about it and that comes from her father, I am sure. She stands up in the chair in front of the computer, grabs the mouse and clicks away like a pro. If she senses anyone coming to take her away from it, she screams at the top of her lungs. I think the neighbors can hear her. She really would make a great alarm system. I wonder if State Farm would consider that a discount on my home insurance. Kara, the great theft detection system. Her idea of a theft is taking her computer away from her. Yes, I said her computer. She has declared it as 'mine'.

Our Kara is sweet and loving until you cross her and then she's as sassy as her mother. Poor thing. I think she might even run our house. Being number five in the birth order and her just being her adds an element of fun to our household. Grace and I took her to Target with us the other day. She was talking in a baby-talk kind of tone to everyone we passed. They were all swooning over how incredibly cute she was. She was totally eating it up and laughing so much at herself. It was quite a show.

Inspite of her cuteness, she has her rascally moments. She got a hold of Ryan's Gameboy and took it in the bathroom deciding to see what happens when you run water over it in the sink. In case you are wondering, it wrecks it. It won't work. Nada. No way, no how. Ryan was hot. Thank goodness, his mother having thought this through when she bought it, signed up for the replacement plan. So it got replaced without any trouble and he is back to his happy self.

A couple of days ago, Kara disappeared. She is fascinated with the bathroom. Why...I just don't know. Perhaps its that big tank of water that is so fun to play in. Then it's so fun to add toilet paper to it to see what happens with that. What a mess. I had toilet paper stuck to the walls, sink, shower and let's not forget to mention all that was in the toilet itself. Of course, she just stands there with the biggest grin, proud as can be. I know why God made kids cute....it was for their protection.

Along with the toilet paper experiment, our sweet baby girl also later that day decided to yet again experiment with the toilet. Only it didn't involve toilet paper. Have you ever seen David Letterman's, "Does It Float"? Yes....she decided to play that very game. Let me ask you....do Gameboy's sink or float? The answer to that question is....(drum roll.....).......it sinks. There in the toilet, sunk to the bottom, was Aaron's Gameboy. Only this time, Aaron's Gameboy does not have the replacement plan. It has expired. Guess what I'll be repurchasing soon?

Shhh...The Night Roamer Is Sleeping

Our four year old is our 'night roamer'. On many nights, he gets up at 2 or 4 or 3:30. We are not certain why he does this, but this is how he has been since he was born. It's not quite so disconcerting now as he is a little older and knows what to do when he gets up. Notice I said, 'not quite so' meaning he still does things that scare me like...this but not as much.

Usually, he will get up and turn the television on and curl up on the couch. Of course, he has to tell one of his parents which may or may not sink in depending on what degree of dead to the world we are in. So whoever is the last one to go to bed, it is their responsibility to make sure the TV is set to the appropriate channel. We also have parental controls in hopes to avoid any nasty stuff that could potentially hurt his young mind. He also knows when it's a bad show and will come get us. Of course, his terminology of bad is a show he is just not interested in. Depending on his mood, The Wonder Pets could potentially be a 'bad' show. (Warning: once the 'Wonder Pets' song gets into your head, it's hard to shake. You'll find yourself humming it for a long time to come.)

Well, today he got up at five. We were ecstatic or should I say my husband was ecstatic because he's the one that usually gets to take care of him. By nine this morning, I kept telling Aaron how tired he was looking but he would never admit it. His opinion was that the sun was burning his eyes.

I was talking on the phone in the office after lunch and he came in and sat in the swivel chair next to me. He was explaining to me while I was talking (apparently forgetting the rule of not bothering mommy when she's on the phone unless there is blood involved) all about his need for paint. Next thing I heard was the soft sound of snoring. He had fallen asleep. See, Mom's really do have a sixth sense about these things!

Springtime

I got a glimpse of Spring yesterday. The sun was out warming everything it touched, the breeze was a balmy 50 degrees and my backyard was full of m-u-d.

For whatever reason, a love of that mucky, squishy, let's see what it does if I put it all over me m-u-d was placed in the hearts of all my children. Every Spring, I think perhaps, perhaps I'll eek by and they won't notice that lovely stuff calling their names. Once again, my hopes and dreams were dashed.

Ryan begged to go outside. Please, please, Mom. I just love it out there. As I took a gander out into the yard, I cringed. Can you wait till perhaps the end of May when it dries up, I asked him. He looked so incredibly sad. He slumped over and put his head down on the table. He just wanted to be able to ride his bike. So I caved. What parent would deny their child the opportunity to get some fresh air?

A little while later, Aaron came to me wanting me to help him put his shoes on because he wanted to go outside with Ryan. Total amnesia must have hit me at that point because all I could think of was both the rambunctious boys being outside leaving a semblance of quiet in the house.

As I was sitting on the couch relaxing, I got a glimpse of a mud-caked child, through the open door. A groan of pure misery escaped my very being. I just don't want to look....I just can't look....I refuse to look. So I sent Brad out there in a scurry to get those boys out of the mud. As I removed my hand that was covering my eyes, what appeared before was something that resembled a couple of snowmen only instead of snow, they used mud.

The words, get-to-the-bathroom, rang out through the house. What was I thinking, I scolded myself. As I gathered my composure and tromped off after them, I realized they had left a wake of mud all over the floor, along side my furniture as they dragged their hands on it while heading where "I" told them to go, caked the bathroom knob and covered the bathroom floor.

I promptly put them in the shower and scrubbed them down. After we were finished, I looked as wet as they were because boy, is it fun to watch the shower spray and boy, is it even funner (yes, I used that word) to see what happens when the shower spray hits Mama.

After changing into some dry clothes, cleaning up the mess on the floor, on my 'cream' colored furniture, wiping down the knobs on the doors and sink, and listening to how way cool that was, I was so thankful it was bedtime for them. I was in need of a serious chocolate fix and I was in no mood to share.

Off to bed they went, laughing all the way. I ran into the kitchen to pop a caramel treasure in my mouth. As I turned to head upstairs to tuck them in, I noticed the mud caked shoes that were thrown in the laundry room leaving yet another mess and I also noticed the beautifully decorated garage door that exhibited a mud painting that Picaso would be proud of. This is going to take some more chocolate or it's not going to be pretty.

Past mud fun

A Date With My Son

We like to do 'dates' with our children. It gets them away from everything at home that could distract them from paying attention to us. It also gives them the opportunity to get out what's on their mind with our complete attention on them. It has filled many a love tank in our household.

Yesterday I was noticing that Ryan seemed quite a bit out of sorts. I don't know if it was the coming down from the sugarfest he's had this week or if it was just one of those days. This is usually a good indicator to me of all my kids when a 'date' is needed.

However, I was tired and he was tired and I thought maybe we'll do it tomorrow. Well, after I fed everyone dinner and he just wasn't interested, I thought maybe I just needed to put my tiredness aside. This was important. I don't ever want to miss the silent cry of my child for my attention. This is especially important in bigger families.

Ryan is the exact middle child and I think sometimes in all the chaos life brings us on a day to day basis, he feels like nobody hears him. What he doesn't realize is that even though his mama is being pulled in a million different directions, I have a sense of when things are out of alignment. It's what we mama's know.

So off we went in the car. A trip to McDonalds was what he wanted. As we were driving along, the gates were opened and out came what was on this tiger's mind. He's tired of living in our current house. He needs a change, he says. I asked him what kind of change that would be and he responded with the desire to move to a hotel. He thought that would be really fun because it's just not really fun at our old house. I asked him why he chose a hotel. He said it was because they have those snack machines. Well, I guess I now know what our home is missing. Hopefully, a vending machine is not on his birthday list.

He had a great time getting his hamburger and chocolate milk and I had a great time driving through the Starbucks drive thru for me. On the way home, he said, Mom, I would like to fly a rocketship to the sun. If I don't make it back, tell Dad I love him. Then he said, maybe he should just tell Dad that he loved him before he left. Oh the things that go through his mind.

He seems back to his happy, hyper self today and I know it's because he is feeling the love. I am so glad that I took the time to spend with him, to yet again get a glimpse of what those wheels are thinking about inside his cute little head. Who knows what he'll come up with next.

A Special Lunch Date

I had a really neat experience today.

Last fall, my mom invited me to a women's Bible study at her church that meets once a month. Since my own church has suspended it's programs temporarily, I decided to go.

At this meeting, I was introduced to a lady who has the amazing ability to be able to touch my arm, look me in the eye and express such compassion and love. I've never met someone like that before and it really took me off guard. I felt like such a dork crying right in front of this total stranger. I went home that night asking myself how could someone with a simple touch and the love of Christ send me into a puddle as fast as you could blink. My answer to that questions is that God's given her a special gift.

Every time I've seen her since, she whisks me up in a hug and of course, the tears fall. A couple months ago, I was really struggling with feeling guilty because I couldn't seem to get my yelling under control when the girls were here. I would pray every morning before I even got out of bed for God to help me, help me control my tongue and not let those girls get me that upset but then I would go about my day and find myself yelling once again. It was very defeating at times. I didn't want their experience here to be me yelling at them because their world was already so out of control.

I went to the Bible study and this lady was there, only this time she decided to sit by me during the meeting. After the meeting was over, she reached over and touched my arm. She said that the Lord knew what I was going through and even if I yelled or was frustrated, God would bless me for trying, that we were doing a good thing. Of course, my tears fell instantly and if I would have had dentures, my teeth would surely have fallen out at that moment. How did she know what I was struggling with? That my friends, was a 'God moment'. Another confirmation that God does care and know what you are struggling with.

This precious lady called me on the phone a few days ago and invited me to lunch. I thought what a great opportunity to get to know her a little better if only I can get through it without crying! Well, we had a wonderful lunch which lasted for many hours and I could have kept on talking with her. I felt like I stepped out of time and into a wonderful, warm and embracing place. If you've ever met someone who is so full of God's love, you will come away from it feeling like you've seen a glimpse of what Christ is like. Now I'm not saying she was God or anything but His light flowed through her in such a way, it touched my heart. And of course, I cried which was alright this time. With tears, compassion is shown. I so want to be like that...to be filled with so much of God's grace, mercy and His compassion. What a wonderful gift to have.

As The World Spins...

If there is not one thing going on around here in my life, it's something else. It seems like we live from drama to drama. I'm really not making this stuff up. It's really happening. Believe me, I double checked.

Our new episode in this series, As The World Spins, my mother has been laid up with a bad bout of what could perhaps be gout in her foot which means that I've been very, very busy. After a few days of excruciating pain, a doctor's appointment was made and I was her chauffeur. We borrowed a wheel chair to get her down from her apartment and to the car. Then from the curb at the medical center, the dear valet guys brought us a wheel chair to use to get her up to the doctor's office.

In the process of getting her out of the car, the lock button was hit and the door was shut. It occurred to me at that point that the car was running with my keys locked inside. What does one do at that point when there are a line of cars waiting their turn to use the valet service? Well, you call Onstar. I was instantly thrown into an Onstar commercial. I called my husband, who then called those wonderful people at Onstar who almost instantly had my car unlocked and the line of cars behind me in motion once again. As the valet person was walking away from me, I heard him jingling my keys while he was saying, "Thank God for Onstar." I have to agree with him.

Today, she had a follow up appointment which meant we did it all again only this time, I made sure I left my door open....just in case. The doctor gave her some really cool medicine that does fun stuff to your innards. Hopefully, the side effects don't outweigh the good it's suppose to be doing. Then I thought, uh oh, hopefully her bum foot doesn't slow her down too much to get to the bathroom.....I'm the one doing her laundry. (Sorry, Mom...you know I love ya!) I have my limitations. Ask my husband how well I handle ick. Let's just say it doesn't bring out the best in me.

So now that I've blurted out my poor mother's woe's to the world and beyond, I have hopes that she will find the laughter in all of this because life truly has it's funny moments even in the midst of pain.

Randomness

I have writer's block. I'd love to write a hysterically funny post right about now but I got nothing. Perhaps it's the dreary weather or perhaps its my dreary state of mind. So here I sit before my screen hoping that something is going to just inspire me. So I guess I could do this: I'll share a couple of random things the kids have done or said....

A couple weeks ago, I purchased some popcorn chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken. Ryan decided he was full so I told him we could save the rest for the next day. A baggie would do the trick to save those yummy little morsels for later. Well, just the other day I was rummaging through my cupboard looking for something and I came across this baggie with something kind of furry and green in it. I thought to myself, what in the world? Then it dawned on me. Those are Ryan's popcorn chicken he's was trying to save. Ooops....I guess I forgot to make it known that they were to go in the fridge and not the cupboard.

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Our little 22 month old has discovered the world of nakedness. She just loves, loves, loves to take her clothes off and now she's added the removal of the diaper too. She thinks that if she's in need of a diaper change, she can just take off her clothes and her diaper and run around the house stark naked occasionally leaving a little puddle. Who needs a puppy? She also thinks that she should have a clean set of clothes to put on after each diaper change. Oh, she's such a little stinker. The other day when she was done with her nap, off came the clothes and the diaper. When I sent Grace up to get her, I heard squealing. Grace came running down the stairs yelling I can't do it! I asked her what in the world was going on. What I found was a naked baby who had tinkled all over her bed. That's my little pee pot....cute as can be.

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Ryan's been quite caught up in marrying his mother lately. He says when he gets older and taller, he's going to marry me. I told him that I was married to daddy so that kind of wouldn't work. He thought about that for a little bit and then he says to me, well, when you are through with dad, I'll marry you then.

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I was sitting on the couch having a good ol' conversation with my four year old. We were chatting about this and that...whatever came into his cute little head. He was sitting on my lap facing me and loving every moment he had my undivided attention. All of the sudden he decides to look down the inside of my shirt. He looks up with a googly look on his face and he says, "those are beautiful, Mom". I about fell of the couch in shock.

Life Rolls On...

It's now been a week since the girls left us. We've kicked off this week with colds and ear infections galore. Poor Kara, she is just so miserable. It is awful when you just can't seem to console a child because she just doesn't feel good. She doesn't want anyone to touch her and she screams if one of her brother's gets a twinkle in his eye and is going to try it. Then they laugh and she screams more. Sound like fun? Not so much.

I guess this means we are not going to get to church again tomorrow. We didn't go last week because all this fun had started up in full force. Now it's just continuing on a roll as it includes it's next victim....one by one.

I started thinking about my church going experience as a child. I don't remember missing much church. I think my parents had the "if the doors were open, we were there' motto. I remember one time I had such a horrible headache and I begged and begged to stay home because it was literally making me not feel well. But my mother wouldn't hear of it, we were going. So during the service, I ended up making a run for the bathroom and guess what? Yep....I threw up. Then I had to wait for the service to end before we left. I thought that was just awful of them. Can you believe a parent would do such a thing?

Now I've found myself in this parent role and guess what? Yep....I find myself telling my kids, oh, you'll be fine. Famous last words! Usually I regret saying that. Trust me, it's easier just to stay home and have all the clean up accessories at your finger tips instead of having to pull off the exit ramp frantically searching for some place that has Resolve and paper towels before the domino effect takes place on the rest of the family from the horrendous smell, praying that the police officer you just passed will understand why you are swerving in and out of traffic at the speed of light.

Since I won't hear much of the service because of the screaming, runny eye'd, snot fountain, drool-hanging, I just want to be left alone kids, I am opting out of all the fun I'd have roaming the halls at church and infecting all the other unsuspecting people there.

I want to leave you with this pretty cool video a friend sent to me.

My Heart Cries....

This is a difficult post to write.

Our time as kinship foster parents has come to an end. The social worker came and got the girls on Friday to take them to their new home. I am pleased that the home they have gone to is a specialized foster care home that has experience with problem children. I think that they will do well there. But I'm sad that it ended up the way it did.

We have such a mix of emotions. First, it was so sad to watch the girls get into the social workers car and leave. I walked around the house and saw their sippy cups sitting there on the counter and I wanted to cry. I found the missing Tinkerbell glove that was Barbara's. What do I do with it? I found myself whispering outside the bedroom door last night and realized that nobody was in there so there was no need to whisper. It just makes me sad.

Then there is relief. There has been an absolute quiet calm in our house since they left. Kara has calmed down as has everyone else. It is difficult to live in a screaming, chaotic world for almost five months and it not affect you. We wake up in knots and we got to bed in knots. We had a friend call on the phone and commented on how quiet it was in the background. Yes, it has definitely made a remarked difference. I heard a content sigh come from my husband as he laid his head down on his pillow in his own bed. He's been sleeping on the couch so that he could hear the girls when they woke up screaming. There's no place like home or your pillow.

There is disappointment. I am so disappointed that things didn't work out. I'm disappointed in myself and how I handled some of the many situations, I'm disappointed that my kids couldn't rise to the occasion and be all they could be. Then it occurs to me they are kids not superhero's. I'm disappointed that we had such a hard time getting help. I'm disappointed.

Then there is anger. We had a TDM with the new foster Mom, the paternal father and his wife, the Mom, the social worker and the moderator. They talked about the condition they originally found the girls in when they were removed from their home, the behavior issues of the girls, the progress they've made and the judge's move to explore the possibility of removing the Mother's rights to the girls this month. They asked the mother if she understood what that all meant and she said yes. They asked her if she had any comments and she said no. She did not have anything to say about anything that was discussed today. She didn't even express any emotion and neither did the father. I feel angry that first of all, that the girls are even in this situation to begin with. It's not their fault. I feel angry that the parents just aren't seeming to take this seriously. We are talking about the future of their little lives and nobody has anything to say. Arrggh! It just makes me angry.

And then there is frustration. In the meeting today, we found out that the social worker has in place speech therapy, play therapy, and will have the other appointments set up by the 14th for the girls. Why in one weekend can she have all this stuff arranged, when we've been fighting and fighting to get things in place here for months. We really didn't have the support we needed to help the girls like they needed. Again, arrggh!

After you go through something like that, do you ever ask yourself what that was all about? What was God's plan in all this? We both feel like we didn't do enough. That perhaps we could have handled this or that better. We are disappointed that it didn't turn out differently. And...oh, all the 'why's' I ask myself. I just wish I had some clarity on this situation. I wish He could just send me an email and tell me so I could know. It would help but instead, all I have is TRUST. What else can I do? I know that God is sovereign. I know that He knows exactly what is going on. I know that He loves those little girls like nobody's business. So I have to TRUST that He will continue to provide for their every need even when I'm no longer in the picture.

Lord, we pray that you will continue to heal their hearts and their minds.

Happy Birthday Barbara

Today was Barbara's third birthday.

To make the day special, Grace and I took her out for some fine dining at Burger King where she received a golden crown and a wonderful cheeseburger meal.


We then took her to Target to pick out a toy. Boy was that a difficult choice. She settled on a Dora the Explorer playset that included a horsey.

Later, we had Hostess cupcakes and ice cream to end the birthday day.

Happy Birthday, Barbara!

What's Cookin' At Mama's Cafe?

I love to cook. I always have. I can remember way, way back when...when I use to pretend I had a cooking show. I was suppose to be washing dishes but what more fun it was to pretend I was Julia Child. Me there with the red cabinets and the contact paper covered counter top talking to my audience, my fans and all who had tuned into my show. How famous I was.

I can remember looking through all my Mom's cookbooks to pick out recipes I could make. It was especially fun when my Grandma and Grandpa were coming over. My Grandma was my inspiration. She was a fabulous cook. I still haven't found anyone that can make a banana cream pie like she could.

I also remember making cookies alot. My Dad use to say, "You need more practice." I thought for years he didn't like them but when I was engaged to be married, he took my husband-to-be aside and explained to him his evil plan. It was then that the cat was let out of the bag and I found out that my Dad just wanted me to bake them more often. What a stinker!

I've come a long way since way back then. I don't have a show or an audience and perhaps I only have a couple fans who request my homemade applesauce now and then but I still really enjoy putzing around the kitchen. Challenging recipes come easy to me from all the practice I've had and I am not intimidated or held to the law of measuring. I continue to be very passionate about cooking. My motto is: Never trust a skinny cook :-)

I also love to make meals for friends and those who need one due to something going on in their lives. I believe that God gave me this gift and I most passionately want to use it to bless others.


I had a dear friend recently give me a jing-a-ling on the telephone wanting to give me some meat out of her freezer. What a blessing that was! In the gift was some cube steak. I haven't cooked cube steak in a long time. What do you do with it? It's a cheaper/tougher cut of meat and my children balk at anything they have to chew too much. So this is what I came up with.


I pounded the life out of it until it was tender. Then, cut it up into strips. Sauted it in a pan with some seasonings and onion. And tada, we have cheese steak sandwiches. It was a hit with some of the kids. Others were not so thrilled. The majority was won over. That is a very good thing....since we have more in the freezer.

An added bonus was that we had leftovers which made for absolutely wonderful steak nachos. My twelve year old son was ecstatic. He is very passionate about food himself and I aim to please.


As a side note: when one is pounding the life out of meat, wear an apron, a hat, a face covering and watch out for flying meat. It is also very therapeutic. It's amazing what a little banging can do for your frustrations. Kara didn't care for that too much as she kept running in the kitchen yelling at me to 'stoppee'. Oh well....what works for one, doesn't always for another.

Until later, friends, from Mama's Kitchen.

Beaten, Fried and Scrambled

What an incredibly difficult few days we've had here. I cannot even describe to you what we've been through. I'll just say this, I was at the end of my rope and feeling very angry. So since my husband was on the phone, I quickly wrote down these two little words....

I'm leaving.

And then I walked out the door.

I just needed some air. I haven't been able to do much of anything because dealing with these issues at someone else's house is too much for me to handle so we've stayed close to home. I'm sure that hasn't helped my state of mind nor is this dreary February weather.

After I got in the car and was driving down the road, I realized a few things. The first thought that came to mind as I banged my head on the steering wheel is this....I can't even leave properly.

I got no money.

I got no gas.

And....I got no place to go.

So I drove around the neighborhood. My phone begins to ring and of course, it's my beloved. He asks me if I'm ok. Of course, I said yes. Then he asks me where I am. So I told him my sob story about having no money, no gas and no place to go and that I was just driving around the block in our neighborhood. He laughed and I laughed. Then he told me to come home and get some cash out of his wallet and go get a Mountain Dew. He loves me.

However, we had been invited to a friends house for dinner which we needed to leave for in fifteen minutes so I told him I was just coming home. I did feel better so I guess my trip to two streets over and around the block did some good. It ended up that only three of us went to my friends house. Barbara and Sharlene were in no shape to go spend some time at someone's house so Bob stayed home with them and I went.

If you are a foster parent or have ever foster parented, I have a new appreciation for what you do on a daily basis. And for you my friend, Shelly, I apologize profusely if I ever said to you "you just have to love them through it" or anything that resembled that I even understood what you were going through. Yes, you need to love them but now I really know what that means for a foster parent.

Just What Do You All Think You Are Doing????

The phone has been an issue for me since I started having kids. Why is it that when a parent gets on the phone, the children have to be very, very loud, have every emergency under the sun that needs your immediate attention or does things that they clearly know is a no, no!

It's even more imperative that the children be somewhat quiet now since we are also trying to run a business out of our home. Now, I ask you and I ask my children, is there any way that loud growly noises and loud screaming sounds emit professionalism in any way? And really, do they have to do it just at that moment when a customer calls or my beloved is on the phone? How do they get such perfect timing to line up so perfectly?

The rule is:

If the phone is ringing or there is a parent on it, children must remain quiet at all times unless someone is unconscious, bleeding or a bone is broken. Other than that, lips must be kept together so that no noise comes out or at least, if noise should escape it must not interrupt parents.

How funny is that? Do you really think that happens in my home? Not very often but we are working on it. So today, husband was on the phone, seven children decided at that moment to yell, scream, laugh loudly, growl and use high-pitched sing-songy voices so much so that parent number one could not hear customer on phone. So parent number two stepped in and took care of the situation:

Yep! That's them....all seven of them lined up with their noses on the door. Notice the youngest one...she's a bit rebellious. Who said she could peek when her nose is suppose to be elsewhere??!!