Where's Your Dependence Lay?

One thing that God has been bringing me back to over the last few weeks is this. What do you put your dependence in?

As a christian and a citizen of this country, whether I intended to or if it just happened without me realizing it, I have found that I assume and have placed dependence on a couple of things:

I assume the American dollar is going to be worth something.

I assume gas will be readily available at a moment's notice.

I assume I will have a car to drive.

I assume that I will have a house to live in.

I assume the stock market and the American economy will succeed.

I assume that my kids will grow up and have families of their own.

I assume that those that I love will be healthy.

I assume there will be food to purchase.

I assume that coffee and chocolate will always be within my reach.

I assume that I will be able to worship the Lord freely.

I assume my freedom will always be mine.

All of these things are not wrong to assume will be but we have to have balance. We have to be careful that we don't put our dependence in things, in people or in our government. God is the sole source of everything we have, everything that we own and everything that we are. He desires to be all that we put our dependence in.

He is never changing. He is always with us. He is never ending. He is GOD, the Almighty. He is the creator of everything that we see, touch, smell and breathe. He is the one who blesses and keeps order. He keeps everything together including the atmosphere. He is our provider, our healer, our conqueror, the One who we need to invest in. He never fails and all of this that He created is for His glory.

Instead of concentrating on all the things of this world, we need to seek His face. We need to pursue God and know Him intimately. Our pastor recently quoted Charles Spurgeon as saying that He believes that a very large majority of church goers are merely unthinking, slumbering worshipers of an unknown God. This quote brought me to tears.

If it had not been for the things that happen in this life that are hard, agonizing and faith stretching, I fear that I might have been one of those church goers that he speaks of. I've been a believer for a long time so I asked myself, did I really 'know' God? I knew things of Him, I knew facts about Him but did I really 'know' Him. In order to know someone, you've got to spend time with them, you have communicate with them and you've got to pursue them.

He has so much He wants to share with us, so much that He wants to reveal to us and He has gifts He wants to bless us with. If only we would seek Him out.

Do you feel God whispering across your soul to come to Him? Do you feel Him calling you? I urge you to seek him out. He wants you to 'know' Him. He wants you to discover the mysterious wonders that He will reveal to you as you draw close to Him. He wants your sole dependence on Him and Him alone.

Can you imagine if we all would surrender all that we have and we are to Him, what that could do for each of us and this country?!! Wow!

II Chronicles 7:14: If my people, who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

A Rascally Rabbit

As I was busy getting coffee made and trying to see my way around the kitchen to get breakfast started yesterday, Ryan mentioned that his stomach hurt. In my most sympathetic tone, I told him that I was sorry that it hurt, rustled his hair and told him I loved him.

When the first round of pancakes was finished and ready to be eaten, Ryan came running into the kitchen yelling...me first...me first! I looked him in the eye and said, "I thought you said your stomach hurt. Are you sure you want to eat?" Of course, I was just giving him a hard time because I was thinking it hurt because he needed to eat.

He responded to me with this...."Mom, a man's got to eat, you know!" With a shake of my head, my thought was yep, that's my little man. (oops...there I go again calling him little. He hates that...sorry, Ryan!)

Tough Days

Last night I sat down to write some of my thoughts with things happening such as they are this week. I ended up not posting it. After reading it today, it sounds downright depressing which is NOT what I want my wonderful readers to hear when I write something. I hope that even when I write a post on something that is on my heart, that you will come away with hope or laughter. I know not everything is funny these days but we do have humorous stuff happen even in the midst of our storms. We need those moments to get us through...that and a Costco size bag of chocolate.

Earlier this year, around Valentines Day, our local 7-11 had this HUGE bar of Hershey's chocolate. My mind, as of late, has longed to own that bar! I think if I did, perhaps everything would be right with the world or at least for the time I was devouring it. Yes, yes....it would only satisfy my flesh but boy, would it taste good! I think I just lost control of my mind as it went to chocolate land. Anyway, we had a very tough day yesterday. I was finding it difficult to keep on my path to trust and have faith and not let the doubts toss me here and there. Why is it, that I know in my mind what I must do but when a Hurricane size wave hits, I can't seem to hold on very well.

Times like those make me feel like quite the hypocrite. I talk about holding on even if you only can with a fingertip and a day hits like yesterday and I'm a mess. I am so thankful that God is intimately familiar with the emotions of a woman! I do believe His mercy covers that! He knew before I was born what I would be like, the emotions I would feel and the decisions I would make. Interestingly enough, God decided that I would still be born. That fact simply amazes me!

I was reading James 1:2-7, it talks about finding joy in our trials and that these trials are producing endurance and the endurance produces character and great faith. It was encouraging to know that something good is going to come out of all this if I can keep my focus on Him, continue trusting and pressing on. He has a plan for this and even if I don't understand it now, it will be revealed later perhaps in eternity. Of course, my curiosity wants to know now but I realize that there are times when I have to be ok with not knowing.

It is apparent we are not through this valley yet much to my disappointment. So we continue on believing, trusting and praising God in all things as His ways are perfect.

Knowing Him...

I've been a Christian for a long, long time. I was taught to read God's word, to memorize it, to live by it. When you surrender your will over to God by accepting His gift to you, you begin a journey. A journey like no other. It's not an easy journey by any means and it's filled sometimes with agony as our Creator shapes us into what we were created to be. We must be refined and all that ties us to this world must be reshaped into what we will become for eternity. But also within that, we are given a peace and a joy like no other to celebrate the life we have been blessed with.

We've been tested and we've had our share of tribulation. As each crisis has happened, I've had this little niggling in the back of my mind saying to me that I must have done something to deserve punishment. Ever hear someone say to you that you made your bed, now you get to lie in it? That is the absolute opposite of what Christ wants you to think on. He is not a God of condemnation. Yes, there are consequences to our actions but if you honestly seek to live your life to please God, those consequences are only for a time so that we learn from them and then we are covered in the blood....God's mercy.

I've had such a hard time understanding that I come before God clean and without sin because of His blood. In my mind, I still need to live up to that gift and do things that make me deserving of it. It is so hard to accept this gift as it was given...free and without strings attached. It is so draining trying to work my way into God's heart. I can imagine him shaking his head in disbelief at how hard I am making this. It's a simple gift but I turn it into this complicated matter.

We have been going through what feels like a never ending testing that I fondly call our training season. I've had so many questions that I've pounded the gates of heaven with. Why God? If you would just do this, then we would be able to do this. But then I realized, that if God did change things like I wanted Him to, I would probably go back to my 'old' ways. I would also be placed in a position to take things into my own hands which HE has clearly shown us He doesn't want. He wants our sole dependence on Him which I might add is a very difficult place to be.

Surrendering your will to God is one of the hardest things to do. He has us in this place where I've had to do that in order to survive. If I try to work it myself, everything becomes increasingly suffocating and more than I can handle. So he's teaching me to trust Him fully for not just surface things but what's deep within my heart...my dreams and desires.

One of the dearest things that I've experienced throughout this past year is getting to know who God is with a new understanding. What I thought He was previously is not what He has revealed to me recently. I'm am so glad to be able to 'know' him more intimately and I just cannot get enough of this new understanding. I honestly can say that excitement wells up inside of me when I think of meeting Him face to face instead of the fear I felt for so many years. I can't wait to dance before my Lord and to hug him and to praise Him free of what chains me to this earth....experiencing true freedom in Christ.

A Very Special Gift

Birthdays are a grand celebration in my mind. It notes the importance of a person's life and how it intertwines with those who touch it. When we were growing up, we always celebrated birthdays with relatives and many times with a dear old friend named Chuck E. Cheese. Back then, it was quite something to have your birthday with that enormous mouse since we had to drive quite a distance to do so. I have many fond memories of those times.

Now, as a mother, it is such an important day to celebrate each of my children's birthdays. Each one, a remembrance of the beginning of life and how much they've grown and changed year after year.

We have a few traditions that we do for birthdays like picking out what you would like for Mom to cook for your birthday dinner, breakfast with Dad and let's not forget the cake and presents.

Grace has a flair and a exuberance for life which includes everything in it. Why would her birthday be anything less?

This year has us in a situation that hasn't allowed for much extra. Unfortunately, birthday's fall under that category. So I fretted. I knew Grace's birthday was coming and I knew that all her expectations of the day were not going to be met. I also knew that she was disappointed with our circumstances and had been having a hard time with it. I had nothing to offer her but I knew that God could give her something that we could not so I began to pray....

I didn't know what to expect. We've seen so many blessings in the past few month that have rendered me speechless that I was excited to see what God would reveal to her on her special day.

Her birthday arrived. I had arranged for her to spend some time with one of her Grandma's who took her (and I, the chauffeur) out for dinner and a special treat from Coldstone Creamery. She was thrilled and of course, Grandma had a present for her which was perfect...money to buy a Webkinz. When we arrived home, her other Grandmother had dropped off a present for her to open which sent her heart to soaring.

She had a really good day despite my not being able to offer her anything but our love. Throughout the day, it occurred to me that God had indeed answered my prayer and had given her something very special....something, that no one else could have even come close to giving her. Something that can only come from a Father who passionately loves his children....

JOY!

God promises that He will bless us but sometimes it's not what we are expecting and if we don't have eyes to see and ears to hear, we can miss it. I did not miss the blessing of His gift nor did she. We felt it flowing out of her from the time Grace's feet hit the floor after waking up until she laid her head down on her pillow that night. It touched our home, it filled her very being and it was shared with those who love her here in this home. It was there for her to enjoy and to delight in. I wish I could have recorded her throughout the day. It was amazing to see her in action. She sparkled with the joy of the Lord.

God had truly given her a joy, that only comes from within. I know kids are excited on their birthday but this was different. Sometimes when God blesses us with something, no one can fully understand the meaning behind it because it was only meant for that particular person. This was one of those times and we are so grateful that God revealed himself in that way, in that day.

I could not have planned a better celebration with my human hands if I could have tried. God is so amazing and His love for us is so encompassing. His love for our daughter, again, renders me speechless.

Broken But Not Defeated...

We've come to this place of brokenness; not broken in spirit but broken of the things that disconnect us with our heavenly Father. We've nothing left but to allow Christ to work through our weakness. We stand, in our liquid state, before the Lord God Almighty and ask Him to mold us into something that would glorify His name and His name only.

I want to talk about this brokenness. Some might not understand it as in our human minds, it is so difficult to understand why the trials of life keep beating us down. You may say that perhaps God is punishing you for something you did or you may think that Satan is attacking you. This was my line of thinking for much of my life but through our struggles as of recently, I've come to a new understanding.

First, as a Christian, my sins have been forgiven; past, present and future. Yes, there are consequences for any of our actions whether they be good or bad. God allows things to happen so that we learn from them but then he wipes it clean just because He loves you and wishes for you to prosper and no harm to come to you. His ultimate desire is for your life to model Christ. He uses the things of this world to mold you into what He created you to be. God is not there to take you out on the mistakes you make. He is a Just and Holy God but He is also full of Love which He desires to pour out on each of His children. It is important that we understand this balance.

Secondly, I believe that Satan does attack us and that we need to have our armor in place to be able to fight those attacks but I also know that God talks of the trials and tribulations that we will have simply because we live in a sinful world. We need to be determined as followers of Christ, to be faithful to the very end. God desires this from us. I know that in the midst of our circumstances which seem to keep piling on top of more distress, that at first, I was struggling with the fact that maybe God didn't love me.

Why on earth would I ever think that? His word talks about how much God loves me and wants to bless me which is contrary to what my mind is telling me. Well, Satan doesn't want for you to feel God's love and he uses little whispers of doubt in your ear and you, in your weakened state, begin to believe them. It is so hard to fight the doubts and you become so very weary of fighting to survive.

I want to encourage you to 'stand' firm and be purposeful and determined that you are going to press on. That you are going to fight the doubts and to counteract those thoughts with God's promises. I want to encourage to saturate yourself in God's word...even if you don't feel like it. There is all that you need to make it through whatever struggle you are going through in his Word. He offers hope, strength, wisdom and comfort in there.

I've seen so many believers turn their backs on the only one who can help them. Believe me, I know what it's like to feel God's silence or to be so broken that there seems to be no hope, I'm there right now but the difference is this. I have chosen to stand firm in my faith, trust and belief in my Heavenly Father. I know, that I know, that I know what God says is true. I also know that I must have moments of brokenness to be able to be used by God more effectively. He has a plan for you but you need to allow God to bring you to a place where He can get rid of all the stuff that is holding you back from Him being able to properly use you according to His plan, not our plan. You must be willing to go through that even if it be painful. Believe me, my flesh is screaming in agony but I know that in the end, it will be for God's glory and my good.

In my pain, my thoughts go to to Christ, the one who bore each of our sins not a sin but all sin. Can you imagine our Lord carrying each of our sins on his shoulders? If you think for one minute that the cross was hard to carry to it's place of residence from someone who was beaten and broken, can you imagine the agony of carrying that load of sin along with it? My heart breaks at that thought. I know how burdensome it is to live with my guilt and shame but to think Christ took all of it, yours, mine and everyones from that moment until eternity, on himself so that we might have eternal life and a relationship with God, overwhelms me.

That puts it in perspective for me and I am thankful for this life with all of it's agonies and broken moments. I pray in the end, my life with be glorifying to God and that the gift He gave to me because He loves me will not have been for nothing....

A Time Of Testing

Have you ever wondered why when things seem to be at their worst, something else happens to sink you lower in the muck? I haven't a clue as to how to answer that except that I know that God gives us the strength to endure the day and everything in it. I also know when you think you just can't breathe anymore, He sends His people to hold you up. We've experienced it firsthand this week. But the key thing He wants you to do is to....remain faithful in every situation. He wants to know that you are real, that you say what you do and do what you say. Are you authentic?

So we have this leak in our roof that shouldn't be there because we just replaced it a little over two years ago. But it's there and it's made quite a mess. Our insurance company called to talk about the claim and to get more information about the damage. Upon speaking with her, she informed me that I needed to get the water dried up immediately because within three days mold sets in. I explained to her that I didn't know exactly how to do that since the pantry cupboard is not movable and the dishwasher is attached and that we just don't have the equipment to do water extraction. She informed me that I would need to figure that out and take care of it. Sigh.

She also asked me what the contractor said about the roof. I am not a roofing expert and I don't understand all the terminology that he was informing me of. But I made the mistake of saying that I thought the flashing (whatever that is) was installed incorrectly. I did say that she needed to get the report from the contractor to get is formal diagnosis. However, all she picked up on was that the roofing company made a mistake and the insurance company wasn't going to pay for that. I needed to go after the roofing company. All the sudden, I had a moment of panic. This is exactly the route, the insurance company started taking last time and here we are again. It's frustrating when companies right away want to start pointing fingers and refusing to pay for things that you thought were going to be covered while you are standing in the middle of a complete mess. I cannot even express how frustrating that is.

We quickly called the contractors who we happen to be familiar with since we dealt with them before when we had our flood and he was happy to announce that they did indeed do water extraction. So he was sending someone out on Monday to do an assessment.

Yesterday, the contractor came out and looked things over briefly. However, it is there policy to collect the deductible before they proceed. My husband informed them we just didn't have it to give him. So the contractor informed him that he couldn't help him until we were able to pay that and then he left.

At this point, I felt discouragement and frustration threatening to overtake me. Sometimes we just don't understand the trials of life. They don't make sense. I wonder why when God clearly knows my financial state, does He allow mess after mess to pile on top of each other till I feel as though I can't breathe. But then, ever so softly I am reminded of what we prayed Saturday night, that this house belongs to God and we gave it to Him to take care of. So if I am placing this mess at His feet, I need to quit worrying and stressing over it. God promises remain true and I need to continue believing and trusting. God has the ultimate say in everything....even with the insurance company. So I continue to seek God and pray for wisdom as we make decisions and move forward.

Many times throughout our lives, we are tested. We are tested by fire. That fire is life's trials and tribulations. We all have them. What do we do in these trials? We have two choices. You either cling to God with everything you have even if it only be a fingertip or you give up the fight and refuse to allow God to work in His time, in His perfect way by shutting Him out of your heart. I am determined to hold on and let Him mold me into what He created me to be, however painful it may be. The glorious treasure of knowing God more intimately that is there waiting at the end of the suffering is what keeps me going day after day.

As My World Spins

As life is spinning from one day to the next around here, I've been praying a hedge of thorns around our home and around us. I feel like if one more thing should give, I'm going to lose the grip I have and will be swept up in the tropical storm of life. But amazingly, God knows just how weak we are and fuels us with the strength we need for today.

Last night, as we were getting things ready for bed like tucking the kids in, hugs, kisses, drinks, cleaning up the dishes and such, Brad noticed a huge puddle in our kitchen. I quickly assumed it was the dishwasher and was a bit dismayed that perhaps something could have come loose. My husband is amazingly smart and can figure things out in most areas but home repair is one of those areas where it's just best to call 1-800-help.

We continued on with the evening once the puddle was cleaned up. Around 11:15 p.m. I noticed that water was still coming from underneath the dishwasher/cupboard. As I was on the floor, wiping up the water and trying to figure out where the water was coming from, I hear this from my husband...ah, dear, it's not coming from the dishwasher, look at the ceiling. As I looked upward instead of downward, I noticed the ceiling bowing with the weight of water along with water seeping through running behind the cupboard and so on. The word, nice, ran through my mind. What else is there to say?

As I quickly ran through all that has been going on lately, all I could do was laugh. I know this may sound ridiculous but seriously, when it rains...it pours! And sometimes things are so out of control, if you don't laugh, you will lose it. I choose laughter. I kept thinking about the fiasco we went through just a couple years ago with the flooding of our home from a frozen pipe and prayed right then and there. Our home belongs to God and so does everything we have and I just had to place everything at the feet of Christ and let Him work it all out.

So at 1 a.m., we had two contractors on our roof trying to find out what the problem was and fix it so the rain would not continue to damage the kitchen ceiling. They found a hole in the roof where the flashing was not in place properly and fixed it right up. Now, we wait for the internal things to be repaired.

In the midst of all of this, God sent several of his children to minister to us when they had no idea what was going on making me again, speechless.

I'm Speechless...

I just have to share this with you. God is such an amazing God. A couple things have happened recently that have just blown me away.

As I was making dinner the other day, I started fussing about not having vegetables in quite awhile. So I prayed that God would provide. The very next day, we were blessed with a couple bags of canned goods. One of the bags was 99 percent vegetables. Now God knows how much canned mixed vegetables are not my favorite but inside the bag were like 10 or so cans of them, also included was another favorite of mine....green beans. Bob pointed this out and boy, did we laugh. To me, God was reminding me how important laughter is in any circumstances. It blows the clouds away for a time. It reminded me of my potato story. So as I open can after can of mixed vegetables or green beans, I lift up my sincere thanks and appreciation for them because God cares that much about every aspect of our lives. However, maybe I'll be more specific next time when I ask for something.

Today, I was sharing this story with a friend. Later that day, she showed up with beautiful fresh vegetables which included everything that I love. You know, when you haven't had something in a long time, it makes it taste so much better than you remembered. It also included the love that it was brought with which made it all the more special. God is so good and so are great friends.

The other thing that happened was that earlier this evening, I noticed we were on our very last roll of toilet paper. This is never good, in my book. I also noticed that milk was running low. In this family, this is a common thing. I am on the first name basis with the 7-eleven guy where we frequently run in for milk. I heard a tap on my door just a few minutes ago. What do you suppose was there? A gallon of milk and a package of toilet paper.

All I can say is: I'm speechless at God's care and concern for my every need. Blessed be His name!

From the heart

As I was taking a shower yesterday, I felt God laying the need to encourage others on my heart. God seems to lay many things on me while I'm in the shower. It's hard to fathom that your bathroom could be considered 'holy ground'. I think that I hear God more there than at any other time, perhaps, because it's relatively quiet there outside of the children banging on the door trying to ask me questions that I simply cannot hear and find myself yelling at the top of my lungs in answer to their attempted questions. Even in all of that, I am able to hear that quiet whisper fluttering across my heart.

I am noticing that is how God is. He comes to us quietly and simply but the words we hear are bold, strong and compassionate. I've been praying that I would have eyes to see and ears to hear and I believe that God is answering that prayer. If I wouldn't have had this very thing, I would have missed so much of what He has been trying to teach me and show me.

I have seen God's hand at work in my own life lately that it brings me to tears. There have been a few days when all I've wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and then I will have a friend call with the compassion of Christ that gives me the strength and courage to go the next step. That is God's love for us. He loves us so much. I know you can say, yeah, yeah, God loves me but it goes so much deeper than that.

For a long time, my fear of God dominated God's love. I just didn't understand it and was waiting for God to knock me down the minute I made a mistake but that is not how God is. That was my 'religion' doing that not God. You can't tell someone about God's love if you haven't an understanding of it. It's like saying you are a believer but never putting that into action. People look at believers and if they see your faith in action, can see the hand of God.

It's so important for us brothers and sisters in Christ to help those along the way that are in need. One of the saddest events that breaks my heart is to hear of a believer that has given up the fight. I was reading the book of Job one day and I felt God asking me a question. That question was this. "If everything was striped from me, my car, my home, my finances, whatever was important to me....would I still love Him?" Of course my initial response was..yes! But then I had to stop and consider that. It is agonizing to lose the things that we think important and our thoughts are suddenly flooded with the idea that God doesn't love us anymore. How wrong that is! God wants us to place him first and to know that no matter what situation we are in, that we will still honor and praise Him and remain faithful to Him.

I've really been challenged lately to be looking for ways I can show my 'love walk.' I haven't much but God has given me the gift of encouragement and I am trying to be faithful with that. God can turn it into something amazing if only we are obedient to what He has called us to do. I pray that my life will point to Christ and His faithfulness, that through my testimony, God will be glorified and that I will continue to gain an understanding of His compassion through which I pray to be a vessel for that love to reach the lost.

New Expectations

We finished our first 'official' week of the new school year. I survived (I think) or maybe this isn't really happening....perhaps I'm on the warm sandy beach in Hawaii enjoying the ocean breeze while sipping my venti caramel frappucino...who knows....guess I will find out when I wake up...if I decide to wake up. It's a hard decision, a quiet Hawaiian beach or crazy chaotic homeschooling days....hmmmm....I just can't decide.

In the past, I have had all these expectations of how things will go. Year after year after year, I set myself up for pure exasperation. Well...not this year, I declared to myself! This year is the year for change. Things are going to be different! And it was...

My new expectations:

1. There will be complete chaos.

2. Kara will be upset because she needs me and my attention is on the schoolwork and that will just never do in her two year old mind.

3. Aaron will cry uncontrollably because he did not get his letter's perfect.

4. Grace will still not like her math and amazingly escape doing it.

5. I will get 'sighed' at a million times a day.

6. It will happen that when writing the 'letter m', it will occur to Ryan that it looks like a butt cheek and he will then laugh and laugh and laugh until the uncontrollable hysteria will make his Mom then sigh and tell him to take a break so she can gather her thoughts....

7. We won't be able to find a single pencil in the house even though we've had hundreds of them in the past. I know this because Kara amazingly finds them at her convenience to draw pictures on every wall of the house.

8. We won't start on time. There are so many needs...oh, so many needs (drinks, snacks, boo boo's and so on)

9. Children will lay their heads down on the table and cry that they can't do it and then I will have to go into my whole yes you are and will do it speech.

10. In spite of it all, I will stay the course and continue pressing forward. Homeschooling will prevail. I am the MOM....hear me roar....

A Word for Today...

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

--James 1:12 (NASB)

The Time Has Come

The dreaded moment has finally arrived.

Not only is he 13, but now, he is not just a hair taller than me but a whole entire inch!

This is going to create an interesting scenario. For many years, I've been looking down at this little boy and been able to scold from my 'motherly' height. How do you shake your finger at someone who you now look up to? Just asking.

Pop Goes The Weasel....

...You ever feel like that? Some days I feel like if things get squeezed any tighter, that very thing just might happen. Just when things seem like they are at their absolute worst, something else happens and I fear I'm going to hear that popping sound. Then doubts and pure agony enter into the mix and I'm all around miserable.

But God is there ever so softly whispering in my ear that He loves me. Do you ever have trouble getting your brain to wrap around that idea? I know that God loves me and that He sent His son to die for me but do I really deep down in my heart KNOW and am able to embrace that love that God has freely given me?

In my growing up, I've had some really great strong foundational truths instilled in me which has shaped my relationship with Christ as it is now. However, I do have this feeling that God is waiting there for me to make a mistake so He, in his Godliness, can take me out. In my opinion, that is very prohibitive of a close relationship and is very stifling. This is NOT the kind of relationship that I desire to have with Him.

We've been going through a very tough time this past year and it's amazing to me all that God is teaching me through it. I can honestly say that I've come to the point where I can thank God for allowing us to be where we are at in this struggle. I'm in awe at God's care and concern of my relationship with him to allow some of these things to happen enough to change the way I understand this relationship I have with him.

One of those things is how I view God's love. My focus has been on only accepting the love that He has as long as I view myself as worthy. I know that I will never be worthy enough to deserve God's mercy or His gift. However, my brain finally has had the 'aha' moment where it's wrapped itself around His love. It really is as simple as this....your love for your children is beyond anything anyone can comprehend, even when they are acting up. You are uniquely connected. God views me through that love (the blood) even when I am less than perfect. We are connected. He created me, He knew my steps and my path before I was formed and yet knowing all the decisions, choices, etc that I would make.....God still breathed me into existence. To me, that's a HUGE connection. His love is all encompassing....every part of who I am.

The other thing that is amazing is this. Many of you know that we lost close to everything when our oldest was just brand new. I admit to you that part of me felt like God let me down. I had this idea that God would care for our needs as He promised, only what He promises and what I expected were two different things. Through this experience, God has allowed me to reconcile my hurt and to see with different eyes how He did follow through with what He promised.

We are a living example of literally depending on God for our daily needs. It's been excruciating to learn this lesson. I always want to know and I stress out/worry about what we are going to do about tomorrow and needing the answers to all of my 'what if's'. God says let tomorrow worry for itself. I will give you what you need for today. Trust me and me alone. He continues to give us our 'manna' daily and I continue to trust and believe in spite of the unknown.

Then finally, God has been showing me to be thankful in ALL things. It is so easy to get into a trap of complaining and being all around miserable. It's been a real challenge for me to not allow my circumstances to determine my attitude. I admit it, I have not always accomplished this every day but I am doing better than I would have even dreamed of being capable of. Being angry, yelling, and all around upset doesn't change anything or any circumstance except to make yourself even more miserable and to affect those around you in a negative way. So as my friend at heluvsme2 recently stated, I'm thankful I'm breathing. If that is all I can find to be thankful about today, I will thank God for my breathing over and over and over again.

Even if life is not what I expect or dream it to be, God's ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I know, I know and I know that His plan for my life is for my ultimate good and I place my trust, my faith and my belief in the one who created me. I am His and He is mine. His love endureth forever.

A Helping Hand...

How a child can get into so much and make such an incredible mess while your back is turned for only a moment is still beyond my comprehension. This has happened in our household on numerous occasions and to this day still has me stunned into speechlessness.

On this very night, Aaron (our four year old) requested some kool-aid. He was very thirsty he said and milk just wasn't what he wanted. I whipped up some Berry Cherry goodness just for his royal cuteness, poured his drink and watched him suck it down quicker than you can say slow down. He promptly placed his cup on the table and off he went with a run and a bounce.

I left the kitchen to go check on *ahem* my email. I swear I was only gone a few seconds. I know this because I didn't get any email in my inbox *sniff*. When I went back out there, Aaron was on the couch and all he said was...I'm sorry, Mom. I was just trying to help! I asked him what he was sorry about but all he did was stare at me with those puss 'n boots big eyes and sucked his infamous two middle fingers. I thought, hmmmm....wonder what's going on.

Then I entered the kitchen. What to my wondering eyes should appear, but a tilting kool-aid pitcher along with a gigantic puddle of RED kool-aid.....everywhere. When I say everywhere....that is what I found. It covered the counter top, ran down into all the drawers and down the fronts of the cupboard, down beside the stove and so on. I sat down on a kitchen chair with a sigh. Rats! I thought to myself. A kid struck again.

Now I need to explain something before I go further. I have had this complete disaster of a refrigerator for quite a few years. It has even been replaced with a brand new one from the store we originally bought it from under their 'lemon law'. Only....the new one still has the same issues the old one had. It has now been 8 years that I have been living with this devil of a appliance. I long ago gave up the hope and dream that it would work the way it was meant to. I am clinging to hope that one day, one day soon I'll be the proud owner of a double wide fridge just like Ty gives his Extreme Home Makeover recipients. But alas....I'm still in the hopes and dreams stage. Reality is still sitting there peeing on my kitchen floor.

What the heck am I talking about? Let me explain. In the last year or maybe two (time flies when you are having fun) it has taken up the activity of leaking. I fondly yell out that the fridge is 'peeing' again and the kids just think that is the funniest thing. It helps me get out some of my frustration. Sigh. However, what happens when you have a fridge that leaks periodically throughout the day? You have a puddle or stream that runs under your cupboards, stove and so on.

As I pulled the one movable cabinet that happens to be right next to the fridge to clean up this wonderfully red kool-aid spill, the bottom of the cupboard leaves a trail of disintegrated fiberboard that has left some plastered to the floor. I guess when you mix disintegrated fiberboard and water you get cement. Science lesson. (Why do science lessons happen when the kids aren't around?) Can you feel the tension building as I am writing this? If one was ever thinking of words to describe this mess in a creative form, it probably would have been right about now.

I scrubbed and scrubbed and Oh, how I scrubbed. Did I mention the stupid, stupid mop that I currently own? Let me tell you about that. First of all, let me just mention that I think the store is against me. Everytime I buy a new mop, they discontinue the mop head that goes along with it. So I then purchase another mop and the same scenario happens again. So here I am with this stupid mop that has the stupid mop head hanging on by a stupid thread and I literally mean a spongy stupid thread trying to mop this stupid mess up. This is so NOT what I had planned for my evening.

After I put everything back into it's place and I realized that my cupboard is being held up by the lousy fridge and the stove, I emphatically announced to the walls that my new kitchen was indeed in the near future plans right next to my diamond ring. Do you think they will listen cause I don't think anybody else is hearing me....except maybe the neighbors.

While You Were Sleeping....

Stages. As children grow they enter new stages. They roll over. They crawl. They take their first steps. They talk. We oooo and ahhhh over these stages. We take pictures to remember those moments. Life is beautiful.

Kara has entered the stage of climbing out of her crib. I'm actually surprised that it's taken her this long because she's such climber. She likes to sit in the middle of the kitchen table, she tries to climb the cupboard and I most certainly will not be surprised one day to find her sitting up there, she climbs the back of the couch and loves to sit in our bay window and then there is the fence....I am grateful she hasn't conquered what to do when she gets to the top. Perhaps we should install security camera's so I know at exactly what point she has become AWOL.

Sometime while I was enjoying my sleep during the dark hours of the night, I hear her chirping in her cute little 'I'm playing house' voice, her new word...stupee. (stupee = stupid) She sleeps in the crib that is in my room so there was no escaping it. No! No, tuck me in...stupee and Aaron...stupee, and puppy...stupee were echoing off the walls. I, in my 'For crying out loud, can't you see it's sleepy time' fog somewhere between sleeping and not, pulled the covers over my head in hopes that she will just go back to sleep.

As she continued her chirping, I began to wonder what time it was. It seemed pretty light in my room. Then, I hear ripping sounds and more chirping. With a sigh and a fine!...I muttered to myself that I guess I would just get up and get my day started. I climbed out of bed. What I found when I came to full consciousness was that my little monkey had climbed out of her bed onto the dresser which was next to the crib and was sitting there happy as can be. The light was coming from the ceiling but it most certainly was not daytime. It was 2:38 AM!

Upon more discovery, I found that she had disassembled one of the baby pictures that I had had framed of Ryan which showed me what exactly the ripping sound was coming from. Crud! There goes $24.95 for custom frame and picture from the Kodak Gallery. Guess I'll be replacing that one. Apparently, I had a pen on my dresser which she also discovered and decided to use....on my wall. Crud! I think I'm out of those magic erasers! Crud! She found my glasses. Thank you, God that they were not broken, bent or destroyed! Note to self: Perhaps one should not ignore chirping from two year old during the night.

I swiftly plopped her back in her bed explaining to this beautiful child that she needed to go back to sleep so that she didn't have a cranky momma in the morning. I kissed her cuteness and tucked her in and amazingly enough, she quieted down. Sleep came again....ah, sweet sleep.

Ryan's Day

We recently celebrated Ryan's birthday! I can't believe the little man he is turning into. Oops...I mean big man. He informed me that he is not little and I needed to quit calling him that.

He ended up with three days of celebration. The first day was a personal party with Grandma. They had Burger King for dinner and then of course, cake and ice cream to which he had two or three pieces. Call me crazy, but I agreed to it only on this one occasion. As you can imagine, he was bouncing off the walls. Come to think of it, he was that way before we even got to Grandma's apartment. I think she mentioned something to me about giving someone a tranquilizer but I can't remember if I was suppose to give her one or Ryan? They had a grand time together.

Day two was his actual birthday. We celebrated by going to the park with friends. I did let him open one of his presents in the morning because he wore me down with his nagging question of can I, can I, please, please, PLEASE just open one????? We came home from the park thoroughly tired from running around...oh wait...that was me, not the kids. We had cake and ice cream and presents. For some odd reason, he didn't want us to sing or put candles on the cake. Perhaps he didn't want to waste any time or perhaps he doesn't like our singing. I'm not sure which was the case. He went to bed with a skip in his step and a smile on his face. It was another good day.

Day three was celebration time with Grandmom. She ended up having to buy more cake and ice cream to help with the third celebration. Can you have a party without cake and ice cream? Not in Ryan's opinion. This time he even got to blow out candles and he allowed us to sing to him. Now his birthday is complete and was properly celebrated to the max.

He got a Spiderman skateboard, and Ironman costume, nerf guns and a game for his DS. Now if I only can convince him to take that costume off....at some point, you need to change your underwear....at least that is what my motherly advice is telling him. I don't think he sees it my way.

A New Addiction...

I realize there are many social networks out there. I haven't joined any of the them...until just recently. I am now on Facebook! Can you believe it???!

I was under the impression that it was for the younger generation of people (not that I'm old...yet). I was wrong. I actually have quite a few friends and some family members on there. I guess I'm a little slow. But now that I'm more hip and with it, I have a profile...lol.

It's a lot of fun and I can't believe already that it's enhanced some of my relationships with people I didn't have opportunity to communicate with as much. It is a great tool to keep in touch. I do need to be careful though, I did notice that I was spending quite a bit of time on there...yikes!

Another cool aspect of it is that it's another tool to promote our business too. One thing I've learned this year is that the key to getting your business moving is to network with other people! It is so important to get people to trust you and know how you operate as a business owner. Once you earn that trust, they feel comfortable using your services and giving our referrals which is where most of our business comes from.

Which reminds me....I need to go update my profile!

Christmas in July

The kids were given this gingerbread house kit last Christmas. They've been itching to get to it ever since. I forgot that I had put it up in the cupboard for something to do at a later date. I had it in my mind that after all the holiday excitement wore off and the house was vibrating back and forth to the 100th degree (like January/February) that then would be a good time for a distraction/project but I forgot about it. I lovingly refer to this as kidtimers. (I know....groan...)

As I was digging in my cupboard for a cookbook, I saw the kit sitting there and so did the kids. Squeals of excitement met my ears. I hate to disappoint the children so of course, I said that it was time to pull it out and have some fun, fun, fun!

Grace being the creative one and having a certain plan in mind for this creation, had a bit of a time of it with her younger siblings. She was in charge of putting the house together and to hold it in place while the icing dried. This did not set well with the younger ones. They did not for any reason ever want to wait to put the candy on. I am amazed that they didn't lick all the sugar off the gumdrops or suck on the gumballs till they were a sticky mess. That would have certainly added a different dimension to this project.

Finally, it was candy time! They did a marvelous job minus a few eaten pieces. Before it was even completely done, they were itching to eat it. I, being the Mom, had to inform them that they needed to wait till after dinner to start having a munch fest. The disappointment was evident.

During the course of dinner making, I noticed that there was one gummy drop missing, then another and another. I looked over and there was eight little fingers holding on to the cupboard along with two eyes and a nose peeking at me. Upon looking further, what I found was a mouth full of yumminess oozing down her chin. Kara was the gummy thief!

Then another kid noticed that she had been stealing the candy and decided he would try it too, then another and another. They are sneaky buggers. Pretty soon the front lawn to our beautiful gingerbread house was all gone. Do I not speak in a language they can understand? Should I try a different one to see if that works?

Amazingly enough, there was some left for an after dinner dessert. I left the room for a few minutes and what was left wasn't even enough to satisfy a mouse.

Hope In The Midst Of The Fog

I haven't mentioned our struggles to too many people. It's a hard thing to talk about. Sometimes, I think I might fall into a puddle of tears if even one person shows me some compassion and I am not saying to not show me compassion but I hate crying in front of people. My eyes get puffy and my face gets all red...it's just not a pretty sight.

I know that there are so many people around us that are losing their homes, their cars and their jobs. When we lost so much including our apartment and car back in the 'early' years, I was so embarrassed, humiliated and felt so empty inside. It's a hard thing to swallow when you can't take care of yourself and your family. Sometimes your friends can't even handle it and relationships are broken at that point.

I keep hearing people talking about how awful things are right now in our economy and our state. It's so easy to get wrapped up in all the negativity. I agree that things are rough. We are all living it whether it's the grocery prices or the gas prices. However, I know that we are a resilient people. I think we are all pretty smart too. I know and have faith that we as a people, in this country, will find ways to improvise and to make things better. That is just what we do.

We have so many more opportunities to make a change for good. With the internet and the technology available to us, I know we can do it. One thing that I have been feeling God laying on my heart, is to be watchful of those around me, listening for ways I can help a neighbor or a friend or someone I don't even know. I think that is one of the first steps in making a change. If we can focus on helping others even if it's just to keep hope alive, what an impact we can have!

The last couple of weeks I've been saying to my husband that we, as a family, are thirty seconds from destruction. I suppose that is not being little miss cheery sunshine. It certainly isn't helping our family keep their chins up. One day, my husband looked at me and said this....'we may be 30 seconds from destruction but we are 29 seconds from victory!' He's right, you know. It's so easy to spew out negative thoughts and for some of us, we get so wrapped up in our situations and what's going on around us, that we lose sight of the hope God has to offer us.

I decided to try to be more positive even though I am not feeling it. I am a female and my emotions are all over the place. One day, I am feeling up and the next moment, I can't see the light through the fog. I do know that even when I am not feeling it, I can still say something positive. Your words have a definite affect on those around you. If we are going to make it through this, we've got to encourage those around us to see the good, the positive, the silver lining.

We had a miracle yesterday. We came home from church and there was a envelope in the door. It contained $200 with a little card that said 'you are precious in His sight'. An anonymous gift that had God's fingerprints all over it. I cried, Bob cried, we all cried. Bob had stayed home with the younger two and commented that he didn't even hear anybody open the screen door. My response was...God is stealthy like that.

If you ever wonder if God really cares, HE does...very much. Wait expectantly for Him to reveal himself. HE will...in ways you can't even imagine. Maybe my God-size miracle will come in little packages. Only He knows and I am looking forward to seeing how He works all of this out.

A Rough Road

It's so doggone hard to write a post when life feels like it's closing in on you from every side. I refer to it as being in a pressure cooker. Have you ever felt like that? I like humor. I like to laugh. I'd much rather be passing on encouragement or writing a humorous post that has people in stitches than having a big ol' pity party for myself. Sometimes it's hard to find the good in all that is going on when you are in the middle of a mountainous mess.

My first response is to question God. Is He punishing us for something? Why, when things are at the bottom of the bucket, does He seem so far away? Why does it always seem like His answer is No, no and no.

I've been reading the book of Job lately. I was encouraged to see that Job, the man that found favor with God, had himself a big ol' pity party...just like me. It let me know that even in spite of my emotional roller coaster, that God still cares for me and is listening. Sometimes, there are just no answers for what life is throwing at us. I was listening to a sermon once on this very topic and was reminded again that just because we belong to God, doesn't make us exempt to the evil forces of this world. So God isn't punishing me, I just happen to live in a sinful world. Thank goodness, I have God to carry me through all this mess. I can't imagine how things would be if God were not on my side.

I have to continue in faith and trust and believe that all things will work out. I made a comment to my husband the other day that I wondered why it always seems that God's answer is no, no and no again. His response was a good reminder to me also. He said that we don't see every thing that God is working through to answer us. I suppose he was right. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, not seen, right? You have to hold on to hope. That is what keeps you going. Don't lose hope. (Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)...What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.)

I don't want to go into all the details but it's pretty heavy for me to bear on my own. If you think of it, I would really like for you to pray for us. We need God's wisdom, His strength and a pure God-size miracle.

Another loss

We recently lost another family member from my husband's family, his father's sister. It has left a gaping hole in our family. Aunt Loretta was diagnosed with cancer last year and fought furiously to beat it. We will miss her. Please keep us in your prayers.

I Am President.....

Hear me 'Roar!'

I am the president of our company, Bob's PC Pro LLC. Why, I don't know but it does have it's benefits. I've met some very neat business owners who are trying to get their name out there and make a difference in our community. One other benefit is that I have to attend 'PPN'. For those of you who are wondering what that is, it is this....Presidential Pie Night. I have a very good friend who is also the president of her company and PPN happens to be like a support group for us.

Anyway, I wanted to take a minute to talk about our company. My husband has 14 years of experience in the computer industry. Since losing his job last May, we decided to embark on a scary (for me) adventure. It's hard getting your name out there so that people become familiar with it and find out it's a name they can trust. It really has been a learning experience for both of us.

One area we are trying to specialize in is 'Remote Support.' What a pain it is to have to pack your computer up and take it in somewhere. With remote support, we can hook up to your computer through a secure connection and see what the problem could be. You can even watch what we are doing...how's that for some fun entertainment??! There is no cleaning involved to make your house presentable for someone to come to your home and you can even be in your pajamas without us knowing :-) Of course, if we find out that it is a hardware problem, then you will need to make human contact which we also do too. Unless of course, you are in Wyoming....then we would recommend you take it in somewhere near you.

We've had several people attempt to go through a well-known company's remote support only to not understand the person on the other end of the phone line along with them just wanting to wipe out your computer's hard drive losing important information. Often times, they get their computer back in worse condition then when they originally took it in along with having to pay tons of money for a non-fixed computer. My husband has been able to help repair computers without losing any data. We also run our business on integrity and make sure it's working right before we are finished. He is really good at what he does. This isn't just a hobby for him, it's a passion. He loves technology and he loves impossible computer problems. This makes him excellent at what he does.

If you need help setting up a business email for your company, are in need of a website or would like to purchase a computer through Dell, we do that too. Why not give us a try? We would love to be of service to you!

Did I mention I'm the advertising specialist too....lol!

What's In Your Backyard?

It was mid-morning, the sun was shining, the kids were playing outside and I was happily sitting at the picnic table enjoying the day. As I was chatting at one of the kids, I realized that Kara had become very, very quiet. You know someone is getting into something at that point.

Grace found her at the back fence. She was picking berries off the branches on the fence. She had some in her little play bucket and the rest were squished in both of her hands. Hmmm....I thought to myself. There are quite a few kinds that poisonous. So I looked in her mouth but I couldn't tell for sure if she had eaten some or not.

I had Grace take her into the bathroom to wash her hands and arms thoroughly while I went to the internet to find out what I could on this mysterious berry plant. I couldn't find the exact match but what I did find is that if she had eaten any, it would cause some abdominal distress like vomiting and diarrhea. So I wasn't too freaked out.

Brad finally woke up from his hibernation period, found out what was going on and immediately 'Googled' it and found what we were trying to find. It happened to be the Deadly Nightshade. When we went to the site, in big, bold, red letters it read "POISON!!!" Apparently, it's a very dangerous viney-weed-like plant which can have FATAL effects on children if only a couple berries are consumed.

Bob called poison control and they told him they couldn't identify the plant over the phone. We needed to take it to a florist for exact identification. We happen to know someone who is a horticulturist and she said that it was definitely the Deadly Nightshade. So off to the emergency room we went.

The doctor was very concerned when I showed him the sample of the plant we took with us. He said that it was indeed what we had thought and that she was going to have to stay for at least four hours so they could monitor Kara's breathing, her heart rate and to watch for convulsions. Now I'm freaking out. I also had to get her to drink that awful charcoal drink. After wrestling with her to get it down, she and I both looked like we had been in a coal mine.

God was merciful to me during our stay.....Kara finally fell asleep in my arms instead of the screaming hysterics that were previous to that. I am sure the other patients were thanking God for His mercy too! We were finally released with the caution to watch her for the next twenty-four hours. (So far..so good!)

After we had eaten dinner, I went to town at pulling all those vines out of the fence. It is growing over the fence from the neighbors yard so it made it somewhat difficult to get all of it. However, I removed all the vines from as far as I could reach. My husband had contacted the neighbor while I was in the hospital with Kara to let them know. We just had no idea that, that weed was so dangerous and there was so much of it along the fence. I filled up our garbage can with it and it was full when I finished.

I guess I should pay more attention to what is growing over the fence from all of our neighbors yard. Just because it's a pretty vine with pretty purple blooms on it, doesn't mean you should let it grow. Lesson learned!

Today, I am grateful for God's protection and His mercy. I am also thankful that my baby girl is just fine and is able to find all kinds of more trouble to discover.

A Marked Adventure

Once upon a day in the land of fairies and squeals, lived a girl named Kara. Kara loved, loved, loved to discover new things and conquer new lands.

One day as she was skipping and twirling along the river (we peasants call it a livingroom), she came upon a lift (chair). Dear Sir, (she squealed) will you help me upon it? Oh, nevermind, I can do it myself, she announced most emphatically.

Up on the lift (chair) she went which lead to new lands undiscovered. With a twitch of her fingers and a sparkle in her eye, she went ahead with this new adventure. As she moved her fingers about in anticipation, they came across a beautiful dark as the deep night sky black Sharpie marker.

A flittering about this little fairy went. In her mind, she had discovered a piece of make-up to be put upon her face making her the most beautiful one in all the land. She was such a precious little one who loved to share her 'treasures'. Who better suited to display her new find than Mr. Bear, of course! (You can't see it in the picture but the bear is wearing her mark of creativity too.)

Happy 4th!

The fourth of July is another one of my favorite holidays. Not only does it symbolize our independence but it also is a reminder to us that we are free to worship our God boldly, gather together as family and friends, move about as we please without fear. This is a priceless gift that I never want to take for granted.

My mother in law planned a wonderful celebration for this holiday. We gathered early in the day and left late. It was the perfect day for all our festivities.

The kids were given butterfly nets and net containers. They spent hours trying to catch them and of course, crickets too.

We played badminton, volleyball, jumped around in the sprinklers (well...not the adults, the well water was a bit chilly) while I hogged my new niece, Emma. She's a keeper :-) In a previous post, I mentioned that Aaron decided to play putt-putt golf billiard style. Well, today, he invented a new way to play badminton. I must say it was quite creative and effective. He went and got the butterfly net to use as his badminton racket. He was able to catch the birdies. Now hitting them back wasn't quite as efficient. He was having a great time though. You should have heard his laugh. It kind of sounded mischievous.

Tim, my brother in law, planned a hayride for us. The kids were so fascinated by the dogs that chased our hay wagon as we passed by the neighboring farms. I don't want to forget to mention the throwing of the hay as it also was a hit (with the kids, not necessarily with me). What could be more fun than trying to bury your Mom in the hay and her coming out beneath with hay in places that just weren't meant to store hay. It's kind of itchy! My mother in law lives on forty acres of beautiful country. Naturally, she's the one who hosts our holidays.

To end our wonderful family day, a bonfire along with s'more making and fireworks were the grand finale. Thank you, Dave, for being our willing fireworks ignitor.

My Homeschooling Journey - Part I

I always enjoy reading or listening to other people tell their journey on how they came to homeschool their children. It's like listening to their testimony on how they came to God. It's one of those decisions that drastically changes your life, your way of doing things, they way you think.

I grew up in a Christian home, had two parents and two other siblings. My Dad worked for a auto maker on the line, was extremely involved in Boy's Brigade at church and was very dedicated to his family. My mother was an extremely talented seamstress (she made my wedding dress), worked part-time at a local store and raised her children to love the Lord.

Junior High was rough for me. I was a timid, shy, afraid to make mistakes for fear someone would laugh at me kind of young lady. I didn't fit in. As a believer, I was o-d-d. I chose not to listen to the kind of music the others did, I didn't smoke, do drugs or dance. I wasn't allowed to attend homecoming or any of the other parties that were going on. So people laughed at me anyway. They cajoled me on the street corner before I even got into the school building and they harassed me on the way out not to mention what happened between classes. My stomach was in knots and I felt sick pretty much for three years straight. Kids can be very cruel. To me, they seem worse now that I have kids of my own. They are not just cruel, now they are violent. I am so grateful for a Mother that helped me through that battle.

High School wasn't as bad. I seemed to have found my own place along with a group of friends with which I 'hung' out with quite a bit. I was still very odd because I wanted to serve God with my whole heart. I disagree with people who want to send their kids to public school so they can be a light in the darkness. It doesn't necessarily work that way. Most of the time, instead of goodness being of influence on the sinfulness, the sinfulness seems to be the influence of choice. I did not embrace what was around me at the school and I got teased for my stand. By God' grace, I was able to stand firm on my faith in God. And somehow I made it through but I do remember one thing: I was overwhelmed much of the time.

I remember my Mother contemplating homeschooling at one time. She even had a book on it that she was reading. I remember praying and praying and praying that this would happen. It didn't and I was disappointed. Looking back now, I know that I could have done so much better in school had this happened. She thought she just wasn't capable. I disagree.

I am amazed at parents who think they aren't capable of teaching their own kids. If you can go through labor, you are capable of homeschooling. From day one, you are teaching your children. We teach them how to walk, talk, eat and use the bathroom. Those are great feats....why is helping them develop their brains by introducing them to reading, mathematics and how to spell any different? I was one of those parents. I thought that I couldn't teach my own kids. I am here to tell you, you can do whatever you put your mind to.

Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having except as a result of hard work. - Booker T. Washington

OPK's (Other People's Kid's)

I am going to rant here for just a minute.

Typically, I don't mind when the neighbor kids come over to play. My kids love it. The great outdoors is so much funner (Ryan's word) when there are friends to play with. I especially like that they seem to be able to entertain themselves for hours. Did you notice my bolded word?? H-o-u-r-s! That is time that my house comes to a standstill, the vibrations from running, jumping, crazy kids comes to a halt and my head comes out of the spin and I find myself faced forward.

We had this wonderfully, sweet older lady that lived behind us. Her name was Mary and she loved to do yard work. Everytime she was outside, she'd take a few minutes to chat with my kids or myself. Then, a couple years ago on Christmas Eve, she died. The family had to sell the house. When this happens, you get new neighbors.

I so had this idea that we would have wonderful neighbors who we got along great with and we'd help out from time to time when they were on vacation and so on. Do you envision my idea of walking through the meadow, dancing with the butterflies??? This is so not reality for us. We do have a few neighbors that we are more friendly with but they happen to be the ones without children. Hmmm.....maybe there is something to that???!!

Anyway, back to my rantings....

The new neighbors have been pretty friendly but there have been quite a few different faces of people living there and I'm perplexed as to who is who and who is the real owner. I see a little boy there quite often and I assume he is younger than Kara. Needless to say, we haven't had many problems.

Now here comes the fun part....

One of the young ladies has apparently taken on a babysitting job and I can only hope that it doesn't last all summer. (Ooops...I suppose I shouldn't say that because perhaps there is a real need there. Life isn't all about me!) Ok, let me rephrase that, I hope that I am not having to be the bouncer all summer long.

Out of politeness, I always require that my children check to make sure it is alright with the parents if they can go into backyards to play and I always want that politeness from other people towards our backyard. However, the babysitting young lady isn't familiar with my law of backyard politeness. The three kids she is watching are 5, 4 and 2. She's been popping them over the fence for them to play without even checking to see if that was alright with us.

I didn't say anything to her because I thought to myself...oh, just let them play for a little bit and then you can send them home while we eat. Well, in two seconds flat, the three girls had everything in a stir. They quickly became known as the 'mean girls'. I felt that I needed to be out there with them during this visit. The thing that got me is that as soon as the babysitter popped them over the fence, she disappeared and I became the babysitter. They were our visitors until I sent them home so my kids could go to bed.

Today, first thing this morning, I looked out my window and who do you think I saw? Yes, indeed....I saw the three little girls that came to visit yesterday. I was so hoping that they weren't popping over the fence before I had my coffee. Much to my surprise, they didn't come for a visit until late this afternoon. However, they were here for two seconds and I had to send one of them home for trying to kick Kara down the slide and then proceeded to tell me she didn't have to listen to me. Of course, I set her straight. The funny thing is, while I was standing there having this stern conversation with this five year old, the babysitter was just sitting there in her lawn chair texting whoever without any concern as to what was going on. Interesting, I thought to myself. The little girl was back in my yard, five minutes later.

After dinner, I was informed by my kids that the 'mean girl' said that when she is bigger, she's going to beat me up and kick me in the nuts and then I'll say, oh, you were the girl that was in my backyard. Should I be worried???? I miss Mary :-)

Ice Cream Social 2008

Today was our homeschooling Ice Cream Social event. The kids had such a great time! They had made a 40 foot long ice cream sundae which thrilled the kids to death. Ice cream is the name of the game for our family. You just can't go wrong with that. I think our oldest said he had four bowls which was about the amount our four year old had. Wow!

The day was full of running around the park, eating more ice cream and let's not forget to mention the brownies they had to go along with it. They had hillbilly horseshoes and a bounce house on top of all that. They were forecasting storms and rain but it all held off for our event and God sent the sunshine! It turned out to be an absolutely beautiful day.

Follow That Red Suburban to Outdoor Adventures

My grandpa and grandma bought a membership at a family resort a few years ago on the idea that it would be something our whole family could enjoy and even vacation together. It was also a place for him and grandma to get away to that wasn't too far away but just enough that it was relaxing.

The resort is Outdoor Adventures. They have several of the resorts around Michigan but our favorite is the Lake Shore Resort. It's the bigger of the resorts and has many more options available to the member. For example, they have a beach on Lake Linda, they also have an indoor and outdoor pool, a cafe, putt putt golfing, kayaking, planned activities and so much more.

Last week was our week to go camping in our travel trailer and grandpa and grandma rented a little cabin. The kids love the time they get to spend with grandpa and grandma along with all the fun things there are to do. I tried to get them to slow down and not do everything on day one but they were determined to wear me out!

Ryan got to be a hero and save the day. Grandpa had locked his keys in his cabin and contacted the maintenance guy to let them in but he didn't have the right keys. So Ryan got to climb in their window and unlock the door thus saving the day! He was pretty proud of himself.

One of the days we were there, I took all of the kids putt putt golfing. Yes, I even took little Kara. She is wicked with the golf club as she swings it around in the air. She loved the game but after awhile she just wanted to carry her ball to the hole and just throw it in. Aaron got tired of the way you are suppose to play and decided it was much more efficient to place the ball near the hole, lay on the ground and shoot the ball into the hole billiard style. It became a little chaotic when Kara was throwing her ball into the water, me trying to get it out then running in the other direction to get Aaron to stay with us since the game goes quite a bit quicker if you play his way. By the time this game was over, I was about comatose and in need of a Venti Frappuccino but much to my disappointment, they didn't have a Starbucks shack on the premises. Maybe I should jot that down on the suggestion card.

We took a trip to the beach. I usually avoid beaches due to the gross water and bathing suit attire issues but I caved in and took the crew. I could so write another post on this particular subject. I had contemplated taking pictures with my camera phone to upload here so you could see what I saw but I changed my mind. I just don't understand why bigger women want to wear bathing suits that are missing material. I will stop there. The kids had a great time running and jumping and splashing and throwing mud at each other. They ALL slept the night through. I guess it did have it's benefits.

They had a Father's Day card making activity for the kids which we went to. They loved having a craft to do. Ryan made his card for grandpa and insisted putting grandma on it too. He carefully drew a picture of himself between grandpa and grandma because he loves them. Then he was itching to go give it to him before anybody else was finished. He is quite a character.

Kara got quite attached to grandma. The first thing she wanted to do as soon as she got up every morning was 'walk, walk' down to grandma's cabin. Everytime Kara would get a glimpse of her, she'd start talking in her sweet high pitched voice....'grandma, grandma, grandma' along with taking tiny little marching steps. I wish I could have gotten that on video! It was priceless.

We spent the evenings roasting marshmallows and sitting around the campfire. This is one of my favorite things about camping. When the day is quieting down, the smokiness of the fire and the warmth of the company sitting around talking and reminiscing, those are memory making moments.

I'm an Aunt again....

My sister in law, Pam, had her baby this week. A little girl named Emma Collette. We haven't had a chance to to see her yet but I will post some pictures when we do.

Family Time

While my aunt was still in town, we decided to all meet up at a family favorite restaurant, Zehnders. Some of my fondest memories are of eating there as a family since way back when. So it really was an appropriate place to dine. I love their homemade noodles and their vidalia onion soup.....yum-o!

This year my kids were all happy to see the walking chicken named Drumstick. A couple years ago, Ryan, just loved that chicken so much that he didn't want it to go. I do think he would have invited him to sit and eat with us but alas, a chicken has to do what a chicken has to do. So upon our perusing the little stores they have beneath the restaurant, we found a stuff one and bought it for him. A few months later, that very chicken left this world for chicken heaven. Ryan was trying to help me cook and he threw that stuff thing on my gas stove. Thank goodness I have a quick hand. It left a nice little burnt spot and the smell......well, have you ever smelled stuffed animal material singed? Not a pleasant smell. It didn't remind at all of the chicken we eat at this wonderful restaurant.

My aunt's visit has come to end and I'm sure she will need a nap when she gets home. I know she wore my Mom out but in a good way. We have some new fond memories to cherish.

It's Party Time

You ever have one of those days that has made you a little more then stressed? A day in which you needed everything to just go the right way because you've got so much to do in so little time? Let me tell you about my recent experience.....

My Aunt has come in to town. We haven't seen her in four years. We were excited that she had the opportunity to come up for a visit. However, when you go visit your home state, there are a lot of people to see in just a short time. How you handle that is, have several of the relatives over at one place, at one time, throw in some yummy desserts and you've got a party. My house was the chosen party destination......and I found out about it the day before.

I always enjoy entertaining and I love it when my great aunts, uncles, and grandparents get together so it was a wonderful opportunity to have them over. However, if you have children, you homeschool, run a business along with life in between and cleaning seems to always drop down to the bottom of the list, a day's notice is sometimes not enough to get your house in order.

I must admit that there was some yelling involved to get the children motivated. Ok, maybe there was a smitch more than little. They just did not see what I was all up in a stir about. After all, it was just family coming over. Overall, the kids did a great job at helping. The house was presentable...not perfect, but presentable. However, I still had the deserts to put together. For that to happen, I needed to run to the store and I also needed time to take a shower.

With only three hours before party time, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. When I got to the car, I thought to myself, why is there all this condensation on the driver's side window? Then, I realized it wasn't condensation but that is was shattered. A huge groan escaped my being. I surely didn't have time for this nor was this convenient financially or timely. What could have done this and where was the person who did it. I needed to explain to him/her how this just was not on my agenda for today. Someone needed to pay or at least let me rant and rave while I was jumping up and down in a fit.


Have you ever talked to yourself? Well, I did at that moment. I was already stressed beyond belief and I didn't need a dumb ol' window sending me over the edge. I took a few deep breaths and muttered to myself that it didn't matter how it happened, it just happened. We needed to take care of the situation and continue on with what needed to be done. After my husband and I grumped at each other for a little bit, we took the next step.

A quick call to the police to make a report for our insurance company was made. Of course, it wasn't an emergency so we waited and waited and waited. After he came and went, we had to take it to the repair shop and clean all the glass up off of the ground. What a mess!

Thank goodness I had made the brownies for my trifle earlier that morning. My husband offered to run to the store for me while I took my shower. That worked out splendidly. In the end, my trifle got made, my hair got done and my house was presentable. I could breathe a sigh of relief.

Inspite of all the chaos and crisis we had during the day, the party went smoothly and everything came together like it needed to. It was great seeing everybody and catching up on what's going on with each of them. As to the car.....I am so thankful that the damage to the car fell under the smaller of the two deductibles. What a day!

Final Resting Place

My father in law passed away back in January. He was cremated and we had a memorial service at the church at that time. However, what to do with the ashes has not been decided until recently. It just didn't seem settled until now. Grandma Loretta decided to have the ashes placed in a Veteran's cemetery. Bob's Dad was very proud to have fought in the war, to have fought for our country so it was very fitting that he be placed there.

Several of the family got together including my brother in law, Dave, who just got out of the hospital a week ago. We all gathered around and my husband prayed. It was an emotional time for all of us. He is very missed.

We all had dinner afterwards at a restaurant named the Riveria. It was right on the lake and we sat where we could watch the boats. The kids loved it. The ferry boat entrance was right next to the restaurant which totally enthralled Ryan and Aaron. To watch the semi trucks getting on the ferry boat truly amazed them. The bus boy will have to wash the windows where the boys had their hands and faces glued to the window.

After we stuffed ourselves with the over-indulgent portions, we sat on the dock watching more boats go by. I think the kids will remember this day for a long time.