Clinging....

UPDATE: He just passed away moments ago. Please keep our family in your prayers.

1/7/2008 UPDATE: They've taken my father in law off most everything including the heart and oxygen monitors except for a drug that is suppose to kick start his kidneys and lasix. They've moved him to a different room. He's somewhere between the Cardiac ICU and Hospice. If his kidney's decide to work, they will consider him for blood filtration but if they don't....it continues to not look good.

My Father in law was admitted to the hospital on Christmas Eve with a mild heart attack. The doctors decided that he needed surgery but an infection surfaced in his leg where he had fallen a couple weeks earlier. Before they could do the surgery, the infection needed to be gone. So antibiotics were prescribed.

Saturday we got a call from my sister in law telling us that he had another issue with his heart while trying to help the nurse get him back in bed. His oxygen levels were low and he wasn't feeling well. That evening, we got another call from his other sister telling us that he was throwing up blood. Then around midnight or so, we received a call from the doctor letting us know that he didn't think Bob's dad would make it through the night.

Most of the family went to the hospital to be with him. My sister in law and her family flew in from out of state. They've all been around him. He doesn't know what the fuss is all about. He says he's not going anywhere. Perhaps that is why he is still hanging on.

He's still here with us but his chances are slim to none. The doctor now thinks the surgery won't help him. His system is just too weak and his heart is too worn out. Bob's trying to spend as much time as he can with him but I worry about him. He hasn't slept much and I haven't been able to be with him since these beautiful children need a parent at home. My heart is there. Bob is trying to be there for everyone....trying to keep hope alive.

This is bringing up many memories from my own father's death. He had a rare heart disease and fought it for 18 months. It's horrible to watch someone close to you fade away. Even though, I know he was a believer.....it's still hard to let go. He's been gone for 14 years but I still think of him so very often. I wonder what kind of relationship he'd have with my kids. I wonder if he'd still be involved with the Wednesday night program at church. I wonder if he'd still get so excited about the seed catalog coming in the Spring. Would he still make his list of seeds that he wanted to plant by May? Would you still be able to see sawdust floating in the air of his home? Would he still be making those silly pinewood derby cars? Would he still be wearing that worn out old sweatshirt? I wonder...