As I look back over the past few years, I am once again reminded of how much God has provided for our needs. There are many promises throughout the Bible that speak of provision but when situations arise in such a fashion that your control is taken out and you have to rely on God, do you really believe that? Are you able to rest in those promises or are you out there trying to make things happen in your own time, on your own terms?
I have to admit that it's been tough for me. I've known people who are able to just trust in God's promises, that can rest and trust in such a simple, unquestioning way. My husband is one of those people. I, on the other hand, struggle with it, wrestle with it and have this overwhelming desire to fix things in my own way. Believe it or not, there are situations that call for you to just wait because YOU can do little to nothing to make the changes yourself. Sometimes all you can do is wait on God to move.
I do not know how people who don't have the Lord struggle through this life. Even though He doesn't promise to remove tough situations and circumstances, He does promise to be with us through it all. I've seen this, felt this and continue to be amazed at how much God is working in and through this situation. I wish and hope that He would heal my husband because it is agonizing to my heart to watch him suffer but that is not what God's plan is at this moment. That doesn't mean it won't happen here in the future but for now, I have to be willing to just wait and trust that God will work this all out.
Through it all, I have been amazed at what God has done. I look at my little Ryan. His heart was so heavy with fear because of a bad situation just a few months ago but God moved on the hearts of our neighbors providing us with a home that was safe for him. A place where he could heal and grow. Just the other day, it occurred to me that his laughter has even changed. God has answered the cry of my heart for healing for Ryan. He is once again a happy little rascal whose love for life is returning down to the twinkle in his eye and the rascally dimple on his cheek. Even the nightmares which plagued his sleep are becoming less and less. God is so good.
This past Christmas, God moved on the hearts of so many Godly people, some of them we had never met before. Our tree had no lights and God provided. We weren't able to buy presents for our kids but God provided even more than what we would have purchased for them had it been us doing the buying. Our car was in bad shape, God provided by fixing it and filling the trunk up to overflowing with gifts and groceries. I am just amazed at the hearts of those who dropped by. People listening to the voice of God to come and help other believers in need and us being able to give voice to hope through our testimony. God is amazing.
I don't know how this situation is going to end up but I do know after enduring so much that I know without a shadow of doubt that God's promises to provide for our needs is true. He doesn't just provide the mere basics but God provides even for things you enjoy on this earth, like Starbucks coffee or gift cards to your favorite store. God cares about those things as well. We need not limit Him because His ways, thoughts and plan is far better than anything I can imagine. I'm only to trust Him with my life.
I am looking forward to what this new year has in store for us, the good, the bad and the ugly because I know in all circumstances God will be right there with us providing for us, giving us wisdom in our steps and leading the way to a better life in Him.
