Sold Out

I've been contemplating what it means to be sold out to Christ. I used to think it was this person, much like one of Jesus' disciples, who gave up all he had and followed Christ. I envisioned that it was someone who was a missionary or a pastor or a ministry leader, someone who was a strong spiritual leader with a flock of sheep to tend to.

I was wrong. Being sold out to Christ is so much more than that. It's more than just believing in God, in trying to do what is right and in helping those along the way. Being sold out to Christ is giving all of your heart to Christ and letting him have complete control over your life. Many times we only let God have the safe parts, the parts where God can't mess with too much to make life uncomfortable.

It's fighting our strong will to get into alignment with God's will. It's choosing to live like God calls us to in His word. What His word tells us to do is quite the opposite of what the world tells us we should live by. Do you have the courage and the boldness to live like scripture calls us to?

We as American Christians are in great danger. We have access to money and so many things that it is extremely easy to replace our dependence on God for a dependence on ourselves and on our things. This happens so easily and so subtly that the believer is unaware of it until God removes the blinders on his eyes through adversity. We personally know this as we found ourselves in this position when my husband lost his job and then health problems entered our lives.

You suddenly realize where you have mistakenly placed your trust, your belief and your dependence. When those things are kicked out from underneath you and you no longer have those things, you are like a man in the middle of the ocean who cannot swim, who needs to desperately hold onto something that will keep him afloat.

I think many times we take God for granted. We think that we have all the time in the world to get our hearts right before him. We get busy with experiencing and doing life, taking care of our kids, running here and running there that God takes the back burner. Sometimes we even accept Christ but then only pull Him out when we are in trouble or need something. This only leads to a lukewarm, shallow relationship with Him. I can't help but wonder if a lukewarm, shallow Christian who only pays attention to God when he needs something will enter the gates of Heaven. God mentions that in Revelation 3:16. (So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.)

We have this mistaken idea of who God is. He doesn't always deliver us from every little trouble in the way we think. Instead He is the Father who uses trials and adversity to refine, shape and mold us into who we are meant to be...more like Christ, before He moves us on to the next thing. He is not a sugar daddy in the sky dropping money and mansions in our lap randomly, (He proves our stewardship in the little things, before He gives us the big things... for His use, to be used as conduits for HIS kingdom and not our own) and He most certainly is not a vengeful God who is ready to take you out everytime you make a mistake.

God is a Holy, a Righteous and a Just God who detests sin but He is also ferociously protective of His children, He is full of mercy, grace and He is extremely patient. He has also provided a way out of our sin but we have to be willing to accept that gift, the gift of salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. He is always after our hearts and wants all of His creation to come unto Him, giving up all of our hearts to Him so that He can work and move in our lives.

What if you are one of those people who thought you were a believer or a christian but haven't really paid much attention to your relationship with Him, calling on Him in the midst of trouble only to find out you are the drowning man in the middle of the ocean with nothing to hold onto to. Do you really want to find out that the God you thought you had was just a mere illusion instead of a relationship?

I encourage you to dig into the scriptures and see how God wants us to live and then be bold and courageous enough to put it into action. Don't be deceived into thinking you've got this relationship with God under control or that you will deal with it later. What if you are wrong?

Happy Mother's Day!

On this Mother's Day, I was woke up by a two year old yelling emphatically that she's was 'hungy' (yes, I spelled that correctly). So we went downstairs to see what we could find. It's one of those kinds of days, old mother hubbard's cupboards are in desperate need of filling. Sometimes, it's hard to get to the store when you are running here and there. One would think if you are out, that would naturally be one of the stops. However, for us, it seems I'm always out in the opposite direction of the store.

Anyway, I'm off on a bunny trail it seems. As we entered the kitchen, Grace had made us a beautiful breakfast table. She put a table cloth on which we hardly ever use because the little one's like to pull it off. If that happens, everything on the table comes with it...yikes! She set the table very nicely along with our collection of 7-eleven Halo cups. It was all quite nice. She served blueberry Eggo waffles and since she knows those weren't my absolute fav, she used our one and only egg to make me a special omelet. She really blessed me today.

My husband's gift to me was him staying home with the kids while I went to church. I know that may seem incredibly weird to some of you, but if you could just picture me going to all there is to go through getting this family to church, only to walk the halls with at least one kid, you would understand what an incredible treat it is to actually hear the sermon and my most favorite part....to participate in worship. What a blessing that was!

I am truly blessed. I've been entrusted with five fabulous kids and the best husband I could ever have asked for. Thank you , Lord, for your unending blessings.

Happy Mother's Day, my friends!

Not Again???!!

Guess what today is? Yep, it's Sunday. The day we go to church. It is also the day that burns through my energy faster than Lightening McQueen on the raceway.

Today, I woke up to beautiful sun shining and warm air breezing through my window. What a nice way to wake up. I thought to myself, it's going to be a great day. I came downstairs, made the coffee, and cooked breakfast. We were off to a great start. Off I went to take a shower.

As I was trying to get the kids ready, that is when it hit. The 'I don't like church' and the 'do I have to go', 'Is Brad staying home so I can stay home with him', 'How about Dad, is he staying home' or how about this one....I already learned about God, He doesn't have parents comment from my six year old. Then there was the four year old having a bit of a fit, laying on the floor stomping his feet. I asked him if he was throwing a temper tantrum and he said no, mom. I then proceeded to ask him what all the foot stomping was and his reply.....it's just acting, Mom. Sigh. I am still stumped on this one. I loved going to church when I was a kid. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they give me such a hard time.

They make the classes fun. They have actors that act out Bible stories, they have the traveling musicians and they do crafts. They also have L-O-U-D music. What else is there? I think my kids must be just weird. They'd rather sit with me which I'm mostly ok with.

On this particular day, Kara seemed a bit out of sorts. Bob said maybe one of us should stay home with her because what was going to happen was that she would end up not going in her class and I would spend the whole time chasing her around. I p'shawed that thought and told him she would be alright. Famous last words.....

Bob dropped Kara off at her class or should I say they peeled her from Bob while she was kicking and screaming. Now mostly, we just leave her for a few minutes and she settles down and is fine. However, in the process of our little wildcat flailing her hands and feet to all who came near her, she fell back and whammed her head on the wall. Of course, I couldn't leave her with that happening.

So I stood in the class with the diaper bag and purse in one hand while I have her in the other. Every time I'd even get a notion to put her down the flailing of the arms and legs would go wild. So I thanked the ladies for trying but I would just take my little wildcat and go sit with her in the atrium. Well, that didn't work either because now that she is almost two, sitting in my lap for more than three minutes just isn't going to happen.

So at the end of the atrium is some couches which I thought maybe would be better for her so she wouldn't disturb people too much. That worked for about ten minutes until she discovered the exit. Did you know that if you push the handicap button the doors will open. Yep, they do and she did. Visualize me running down the hall in my not so flat shoes, chasing a two year old who has escaped out of the church. Sigh.

I caught her and brought her back to the couch where she screamed her head off along with her flailing arms and legs and then proceeded to spit in my face. She learned that little trick from Barbara and Sharlene which we haven't been able to break her of yet. At that point, I was sweaty from chasing and fighting with her, my hair was every which way, my heart was pounding and I was about in tears. So I crept back to where Bob was sitting with the other kids and told him I'd be outside.

For the rest of the sermon, I sat in the car with a almost two year old who clearly was ready for a nap. I was rehashing all that Bob had said earlier that morning. Perhaps, I should have just stayed home with her. I certainly didn't hear the message. Thank goodness I can catch it online. I do wonder though.....am I the only mother who has impossible Sundays because I scanned the parking lot and I clearly was the only one out there. I suppose I could start a Sunday morning Bible study for crazed mothers out in the parking lot. Anybody interested????

A Special Lunch Date

I had a really neat experience today.

Last fall, my mom invited me to a women's Bible study at her church that meets once a month. Since my own church has suspended it's programs temporarily, I decided to go.

At this meeting, I was introduced to a lady who has the amazing ability to be able to touch my arm, look me in the eye and express such compassion and love. I've never met someone like that before and it really took me off guard. I felt like such a dork crying right in front of this total stranger. I went home that night asking myself how could someone with a simple touch and the love of Christ send me into a puddle as fast as you could blink. My answer to that questions is that God's given her a special gift.

Every time I've seen her since, she whisks me up in a hug and of course, the tears fall. A couple months ago, I was really struggling with feeling guilty because I couldn't seem to get my yelling under control when the girls were here. I would pray every morning before I even got out of bed for God to help me, help me control my tongue and not let those girls get me that upset but then I would go about my day and find myself yelling once again. It was very defeating at times. I didn't want their experience here to be me yelling at them because their world was already so out of control.

I went to the Bible study and this lady was there, only this time she decided to sit by me during the meeting. After the meeting was over, she reached over and touched my arm. She said that the Lord knew what I was going through and even if I yelled or was frustrated, God would bless me for trying, that we were doing a good thing. Of course, my tears fell instantly and if I would have had dentures, my teeth would surely have fallen out at that moment. How did she know what I was struggling with? That my friends, was a 'God moment'. Another confirmation that God does care and know what you are struggling with.

This precious lady called me on the phone a few days ago and invited me to lunch. I thought what a great opportunity to get to know her a little better if only I can get through it without crying! Well, we had a wonderful lunch which lasted for many hours and I could have kept on talking with her. I felt like I stepped out of time and into a wonderful, warm and embracing place. If you've ever met someone who is so full of God's love, you will come away from it feeling like you've seen a glimpse of what Christ is like. Now I'm not saying she was God or anything but His light flowed through her in such a way, it touched my heart. And of course, I cried which was alright this time. With tears, compassion is shown. I so want to be like that...to be filled with so much of God's grace, mercy and His compassion. What a wonderful gift to have.

Life Rolls On...

It's now been a week since the girls left us. We've kicked off this week with colds and ear infections galore. Poor Kara, she is just so miserable. It is awful when you just can't seem to console a child because she just doesn't feel good. She doesn't want anyone to touch her and she screams if one of her brother's gets a twinkle in his eye and is going to try it. Then they laugh and she screams more. Sound like fun? Not so much.

I guess this means we are not going to get to church again tomorrow. We didn't go last week because all this fun had started up in full force. Now it's just continuing on a roll as it includes it's next victim....one by one.

I started thinking about my church going experience as a child. I don't remember missing much church. I think my parents had the "if the doors were open, we were there' motto. I remember one time I had such a horrible headache and I begged and begged to stay home because it was literally making me not feel well. But my mother wouldn't hear of it, we were going. So during the service, I ended up making a run for the bathroom and guess what? Yep....I threw up. Then I had to wait for the service to end before we left. I thought that was just awful of them. Can you believe a parent would do such a thing?

Now I've found myself in this parent role and guess what? Yep....I find myself telling my kids, oh, you'll be fine. Famous last words! Usually I regret saying that. Trust me, it's easier just to stay home and have all the clean up accessories at your finger tips instead of having to pull off the exit ramp frantically searching for some place that has Resolve and paper towels before the domino effect takes place on the rest of the family from the horrendous smell, praying that the police officer you just passed will understand why you are swerving in and out of traffic at the speed of light.

Since I won't hear much of the service because of the screaming, runny eye'd, snot fountain, drool-hanging, I just want to be left alone kids, I am opting out of all the fun I'd have roaming the halls at church and infecting all the other unsuspecting people there.

I want to leave you with this pretty cool video a friend sent to me.

Again with the Sunday's

Sundays are always interesting.

I woke up this morning behind schedule. My kids didn't even wake me up. Most days I would have welcomed this with open arms but in order for me to get everyone ready and out the door on time, I have to be up at a certain time. I'm not complaining, mind you....my husband was trying to do something nice for me by keeping the kids away from my bedside. He just chose the wrong day to do it. I didn't want to tell him anything but how much I appreciated his efforts for fear it would never happen again.

I did manage to get myself and the kids ready and we did arrive at church around the same time we usually get there....yes, there was still singing going on and I don't mean at the end of the service. This should tell you something. We arrived before the sermon started even though I'm not sure how important that is since we only hear bits and pieces of it. We spend more time chasing Aaron around the atrium because it's more fun to sit on the base of the pedestals and it's more fun to crawl under the seats....and oh, let's lay on the floor and put our feet up on the seats while singing a song we made up is even better. Then there is the trips to the bathroom with Ryan, trips to the water fountain because we are soooo very thirsty. So thirsty it just can't wait. Thus the cycle....water goes in, water must come out. Just don't ask me what the sermon was about and we'll be all set.

We happened to be having communion. How do you take communion seriously when one of your children asks you what the prune juice is for. We decided to let our two oldest take communion since they know what it is for and about. But what I wasn't counting on was when one kids gets to do something the other's just have to too. All of the sudden, I have two boys who are six and three asking for a snack. Why can't we have a snack? I need a dwink. I'm hungry. Why do they get to have a snack and we don't??? Mom...mom...mom...mmmmoooommmm!

After rounding up the children, we headed home because I was so in need of a nap. I think I mentioned that fact to the people around me as I was dragging my weary body out of church. They just smiled and nodded. I don't think they quite understood what I was getting at. I am telling you, it's like getting a holy workout. Just go to church with five kids!

I tried laying on the couch for a few minutes to rest my eyes but the pats on the face because I just have to ask you a question did not provide for a restful experience. I recently bought a book for Ryan and I to put a paper dinosaur together. He loves dinosaurs and I thought what a lovely time we would have together putting this project together. I think I wasn't thinking about the nagging to do it that would come with the package. He was quite excited about it and nagged me for three days to do it with him. Next time...I'm waiting till we have time to do it RIGHT now, right then before I reveal what I have in my hands.

So we are sitting there at the table putting together this dinosaur. There was cutting out to do which Ryan wanted me to do. He wanted to do the gluing. I was glad he was willing to do that since I wasn't sure what the end result would look like had it been the other way around. He kept checking the picture to make sure it was looking like what he saw.

We had the head finished and I was working on the body when all of the sudden....WHAM, I get hit in the forehead with the dinosaur head that was followed by growly noises. Yes, my three year old was using the head as a Goliath-type figure stomping on all our papers sending them flying to the floor along with the directions and of course, you have to have boyish growly noises to go with everything you are playing with. It's for the whole effect. My day is complete....I've been properly hit in the head with a flying object.

After politely telling Aaron that Mommy isn't in the mood for objects thrown at her head, we continued on. He must have been feeling left out as he decided it was necessary to sit right next to me. Since there wasn't a chair, the table is where he decided he was sitting. Try cutting out dinosaur parts while being bumped in the arm a jillion times. I hope Ryan's not going to get the magnifying glass out for inspection! All of the sudden, I have three little fingers flash before my eyes that had something greenish on them. I was about to ask him what he had when instantly my sentence stopped before I could even finish it. Green stuff on a three year's finger can only mean one thing......his fingers were in his pull-up....ughhhhh!!!

After washing his hands and cleaning out his fingernails, I began to question (once again) why he would ever do such a thing. I know, I find myself asking that same thing over and over again with no answer in sight. He's just a boy....a rascally one, at that.

I finally got to the tail of the dinosaur. All the parts were attached and it was standing. I was so happy. Then, Aaron struck again. He grabbed the dinosaur with growly noises echoing throughout the house and the dinosaur came tumbling down in pieces. Ryan cried. Mom cried. Aaron laughed. Not in a mean way. More like, that was way cool...do it again, Mom. Back to the drawing board....after I've had some deep, deep sleep....in a couple days.....when all this fun has wore off and I'm ready for more.

And this, is why Sunday's are interesting.

Church Attendance

I just have to ask this question and maybe I don't want to hear the answer but I'll ask anyway.

Does anyone ever wonder why they go to church?

Let me explain my question. I have five children. Three of them don't go into their classes. And now I have an almost seventh grader who sits with us. So that makes four. He's really not a problem. He doesn't try to run between the chairs and roll around under the chairs. Nor does he find it amusing to hear his voice echo when he uses his outside voice on the inside of the church. He doesn't constantly wiggle and squirm and drive his Hot Wheels over my head.


I've had people at church tell me to force them to go and then walk away. Well, I tried that. It wasn't pretty for the teacher or for the other kids in the class. Have you ever heard of the domino effect?

Yesterday, Kara got us up very early. Since we were having Father's Day company later that day, we had this brilliant idea that would send shock waves across the church......we went to the early service. I never thought that I would be able to pull it off but yet, found ourselves there, sitting in our seats BEFORE the singing was over. We were even sitting in the s-a-n-t-u-a-r-y. We don't do this anymore since many children equals distraction to all around us. We usually sit in the atrium where they have the service up on the 'big screen' and kid noises are not frowned upon as much.

However, on this particular Sunday since we made it to the early service and no one was in the atrium, we decided to give the sanctuary a try. All was going pretty well minus the fidgeting, squirming and loud whispers. Then the pastor starts speaking and he's explaining about a song he heard that doesn't resolve itself. He then proceeds to say that it drives him crazy and he wants to finish it for them and in a sing songy type voice he says "da-daaaa". Right at the perfect moment, between sentences when all the world and congregation was quiet, Aaron, in his not so soft voice, yells out "da-daaaa" sending his parents running for the door to quickly exit out of there hoping that nobody realized it was coming from our family.

My only thought....we are not sanctuary people. Maybe we'll try again when our children are grown. And my other thought.....I'm not sure exactly what the sermon was all about as I think I might have heard maybe five minutes of it or so. But this is an every Sunday occurrence.

Every Sunday, we scramble to get to church, sit there with busy children, spend much of the service fussing at them to shush and then in less then 90 minutes, it's all over and we are headed home. Sometimes I wonder why I bother going. Now don't get me wrong. I love going to church. The praise and worship time is very filling to my soul. And I do realize that all the fussing we do with our kids is only temporary and will be a distant memory as they grow. I need to just muster up some perseverance to keep at it until that time comes.

My remembrance of my childhood does not include what I'm going through. I only remember other people's families quietly sitting in church paying attention and I certainly don't remember them bothering the congregation around them. We did not have a special room to go into with fussing children. What did poor, whipped parents do back in the day? How did my mother-in-law handle six kids sitting there pretty as little peacocks. Perhaps I've got bad parenting skills or perhaps, my kids are just out of control. Maybe I'm not scary enough.....