I haven't mentioned our struggles to too many people. It's a hard thing to talk about. Sometimes, I think I might fall into a puddle of tears if even one person shows me some compassion and I am not saying to not show me compassion but I hate crying in front of people. My eyes get puffy and my face gets all red...it's just not a pretty sight.
I know that there are so many people around us that are losing their homes, their cars and their jobs. When we lost so much including our apartment and car back in the 'early' years, I was so embarrassed, humiliated and felt so empty inside. It's a hard thing to swallow when you can't take care of yourself and your family. Sometimes your friends can't even handle it and relationships are broken at that point.
I keep hearing people talking about how awful things are right now in our economy and our state. It's so easy to get wrapped up in all the negativity. I agree that things are rough. We are all living it whether it's the grocery prices or the gas prices. However, I know that we are a resilient people. I think we are all pretty smart too. I know and have faith that we as a people, in this country, will find ways to improvise and to make things better. That is just what we do.
We have so many more opportunities to make a change for good. With the internet and the technology available to us, I know we can do it. One thing that I have been feeling God laying on my heart, is to be watchful of those around me, listening for ways I can help a neighbor or a friend or someone I don't even know. I think that is one of the first steps in making a change. If we can focus on helping others even if it's just to keep hope alive, what an impact we can have!
The last couple of weeks I've been saying to my husband that we, as a family, are thirty seconds from destruction. I suppose that is not being little miss cheery sunshine. It certainly isn't helping our family keep their chins up. One day, my husband looked at me and said this....'we may be 30 seconds from destruction but we are 29 seconds from victory!' He's right, you know. It's so easy to spew out negative thoughts and for some of us, we get so wrapped up in our situations and what's going on around us, that we lose sight of the hope God has to offer us.
I decided to try to be more positive even though I am not feeling it. I am a female and my emotions are all over the place. One day, I am feeling up and the next moment, I can't see the light through the fog. I do know that even when I am not feeling it, I can still say something positive. Your words have a definite affect on those around you. If we are going to make it through this, we've got to encourage those around us to see the good, the positive, the silver lining.
We had a miracle yesterday. We came home from church and there was a envelope in the door. It contained $200 with a little card that said 'you are precious in His sight'. An anonymous gift that had God's fingerprints all over it. I cried, Bob cried, we all cried. Bob had stayed home with the younger two and commented that he didn't even hear anybody open the screen door. My response was...God is stealthy like that.
If you ever wonder if God really cares, HE does...very much. Wait expectantly for Him to reveal himself. HE will...in ways you can't even imagine. Maybe my God-size miracle will come in little packages. Only He knows and I am looking forward to seeing how He works all of this out.
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