Sunday, December 27, 2009

Tough Days...

Some days are so unbearable difficult and the weight of our situation threatens to squish me. But, I've seen the overwhelming love of our Father through all this as He comforts, provides and showers us with His protection.

Yesterday, my husband decided to try the chiropractor. We are quite familiar with chiropractic care and have wanted to see if it would help Bob's situation. However, the money has been a huge reason why we haven't gone thus far. The second reason we haven't given it a try is because of what happened to Bob at the physical therapy. We were concerned that it would send him into debilitating pain again.

After much insistence from friends and family, Bob went. It was one of the worst decisions ever. It was worse than physical therapy. A friend happened to take him to his appointment and literally had to back his car up to our steps to get him into the house. We got him to the couch where he laid and sobbed ferociously for quite some time. The pain was so intense and it would not let up even with the pain medication.

After quite some time of no relief, we were contemplating a trip to the Emergency Room. However, I wasn't sure how I was going to get him to the car and was wondering if it was worth an ambulance ride. He's been to the ER and they don't know what to do with him either so I wasn't really wanting to go in that direction if we could at all avoid it.

Our wonderful neighbor called to check on him and offered us her whirlpool bath which we took her up on her offer of. I managed to get him over there and up her stairs and into the whirlpool. How? I'm not sure other than it must have been God helping us along. It had an amazing affect on his pain and was able to relieve it enough for the medication to do it's job. Boy, do I wish we had one of those now. Not sure where we would put it but it would be a great help to Bob!

Since the whirlpool's amazing abilities helped relieve some of the pain, we decided against the ER. He's been very exhausted and hurting but is able to move without it causing such debilitating pain which is a good thing. So we are once again, back at our everyday pain management routine. I'm not able to get to church today as I can't leave him by himself but I am thankful we are through the worst of yesterday and on to a brighter day.

I am so thankful that God gives us what we need when the circumstances arise. It is so scary watching someone in so much pain every day. You feel so helpless. Yet, as I go through this with Bob, God gives me the courage to face it, the compassion to comfort, the wisdom to come up with ideas to try to ease and the empathy to pray, pray and pray some more. There are days when I feel like God is so far away and isn't hearing a word I pray but I know without a doubt that He is right here with us, carrying all of us day by day. I've seen the amazing ways God provides even in the midst of all this.

Sometimes I don't understand why God doesn't just fix everything especially since this has been going on and on and on no matter how much I pray. But, I do know that even when God decides not take our afflictions away, He is using it for a glory purpose. By that I mean, He promises to turn things for good and for a purpose that we may not understand at the time. It's not going to be restored until God's purposes are accomplished. Our job is to hold onto our faith, to not give up but to keep finding ways to honor God through it all no matter how much agony you are in. That is a tough place to be....waiting on God. We want relief like now. We are not patient. We wear out and become weary. BUT GOD knows this and He offers those things we need to keep our eyes on him, to keep on running the race, to keep faithful to Him.

I want to encourage you if you are in a place that seems so impossible and so overwhelming to bear each day, to keep your focus on our Lord, to give Him all your hurts, your desires, your dreams. Don't ever give up on God even if you feel like He's not moving on your behalf. Don't rely on what you think you see. Look to His Word, the promises in there are for you, for me and for all who trust in the Lord God Almighty. I've seen them in my own life and continue to be amazed by it. He is truly an amazing God!


The Wilhelms said...

I am so sorry to hear that the chiropractor did not help. And worse, actually made things worse. We will keep praying for some relief!

Lisa S. said...

So sorry to hear about Bob's pain from the chiropractic appt. I was really hoping it would be his "miracle cure", since it has helped both Dean and I so much. Will continue to pray about the next step!