Where Did It Go?

Are you asking yourself, where the big, red Suburban went? It's gone. It really was the last thing to go and I cried. We are officially assetless. It's not a place that I ever wanted to be. However, we've come to this place of realization that no matter what you have here, if you have an expensive house or an expensive car, if you've got trust funds, IRA funds, stocks and bonds, or even if you have all your ducks in a row, it really all doesn't matter. What really and truly is the bottom line, is the assets you are building for Christ. Yes, I enjoyed having that car. It was a blessing not only to us, but to those who were driven to the store, to Bible study, to pick up medicine, to run a stranger to the gas station and jump his dead battery and to those who simply rode in it going from here to there. But mostly, I cried because of this situation we are in that seems to have no end.

The one thing that I find most frustrating is talking to the customer service representatives, otherwise known as creditors. When you set up payment agreements with one person, you have another one call you from the same company who assures you that what you set up previously is unacceptable. We had talked to a representative who said if we could come up with one payment that perhaps we would be able to split the next payment up. So we followed her instructions and made the payment. The very next day, 'our case manager', who was really quite snippy, would not accept that agreement and was all out bent on sending the 'repo' guy out.

So on Christmas night, when all were in bed, except my husband and my teenage son, they came for it, setting off the alarm and waking the neighborhood. My husband kindly went out there to offer them the keys, shocking the repo man that he was not raving mad. In return for his sincere and kind attitude, he was able to get the carseat out of it and my Altoids.

It could really make you mad that things happen the way they do, but we really prayed about it. We know that for some unknown reason to us, at this point, all of this stuff is happening and we just have to trust God that He is going to work it all out. Having only one car is really going to be inconvenient. It's going to make things more difficult with scheduling but it is, what it is. God knows our needs and we just have to leave it to Him to work out because everything we've tried to do in our humanness is not and has not worked out. God clearly wants to do something here but the waiting is driving me nutty.

In the midst of all this trauma, I've felt God telling me to just trust Him and to continue praising Him. It's a hard thing to do sometimes, especially when you feel much like a failure or that you feel like God is letting you down. Then, I was reminded of Job. He lost everything and the one thing that stood out to me was his wife. She let her anger and bitterness turn her into this woman who was unsupportive and hateful. That is not the person who I believe God wants me to be nor do I want to let the things of this life, like what we are going through, distract me from what God really wants me to learn from all of this.

So instead of shaking my fist, stomping up and down and having myself a good ol' temper tantrum, I praise God for his mercy. I praise Him for the time that we were able to use the vehicle, for the time He allowed us to live in our home, for taking care of us and providing for our needs. We were so blessed this holiday with so many surprise blessings and we know that God directed them. Even in the midst of heartbreaking crises, somewhere in the middle of it, you will see God's hand of blessing. We have felt His tender care through so many wonderful people and for that I am so eternally grateful.