The Pain Patch

After the whole fun trip to the social security office with a side trip on the way home to the emergency room just to kick the weekend off with a bang, we were able to make an emergency appointment with the pain doctor for the following Monday. It was an agonizingly long appointment. But don't all doctor appointments seem agonizingly long when you don't feel too swell?

A visit to the pain doctor usually is long. They have to ask lots and lots of questions as to how you are doing since your last visit. What kind of pain brings you in there to see them and so on. This you have to tell to the first nurse and then the nurse practitioner and then the doctor. As Bob is laying there in agony, I have wondered if it was possible to round up all three and have them come in there so we could do this all at once. Or maybe we could just record it and they could go over it later? I guess that is not their policy. I thought it was a good idea.

After going over what happened at the disability appointment, his overall pain levels and the concerns our family doctor has as to the effects debilitating pain has on the mind, they gave us two choices. One was a pain patch that has to be changed every 72 hours. The other was morphine. We chose the patch or should I say I chose it on his behalf. By the time we got to this part of the appointment, he was in too much pain to make a conscious thought or decision. Kind of like when we were at the ER and the nurse asked him what his pain level was at and he told them...ah, a 6 or a 7. The nurse then looked at me and I said how about we try a 12. The nurse said that she'd go with my answer since it seemed more in line with what was going on.

He also is having an awful time with his balance. His pain levels are throwing everything off including that along with some of the medication he is taking. The doctor's office was offering to prescribe a walker but Bob isn't ready to go that route right now so we opted for a four prong cane. There is nothing about what is happening to him that isn't frustrating and somewhat humiliating. It's hard when you are at a point in life, when canes, walkers and narcotics are not where you want to be or should even be. To not have any real concrete answers as to why just adds to the weight of the whole situation. There are some other things that the doctor could try to ease the pain if only we knew exactly where the source of pain is coming from. For now, those are on the back burner.

He's been on the pain patch for a couple weeks now. They are hoping between the patch, another narcotic, a nerve blocker and an anti-inflammatory, that it will help him at least have some relief. It has helped. It's brought the pain levels down a notch enough to let him sleep more than he was, to get around the house in small doses and to be able to take a shower without help. However, he still has awful periods of pain off and on during the day which they warned us would happen. We have another visit to the pain doctor in a couple weeks to which they will determine if they need to up the dosage on the patch to the next level. So far, I'm thinking they are going to have to. While it's helping, he is still not able to do a whole lot.

He's hoping that if they could just get the pain down lower, he could work. That is so heavy on his heart. His not being able to provide for us has been one of the worst things about this whole situation. We continue to pray for his healing. That God will bring that about soon but we also know that God has a plan and a purpose for all of this.

We both want to share the hope of Christ in even the most desperate situations that we face. It's hard sometimes. We've experienced despair, discouragement and moments of hopelessness but we know beyond all that, God fills us with the grace, the strength, and the courage to face each day as it comes. One reason we are able to do that is due to the prayers that are going up on our behalf and the spiritual food we are constantly feeding our souls. How could you survive one moment of affliction or trials without your eyes properly focused on the One who is our source of strength, our source of courage and on the One who gives us life? When my eyes lose that focus, that is when I fail to function in hope, courage and strength.

If you are in a desperate situation, remember that God has not forgotten you. He has his eye on you and will not let you go. Seek Him with your whole heart and hang onto to him. He is the only way, the only truth and only through Him do we have what it takes to live this life.