Ok, Breathe.....

My five year old is so full of life and all boy. He loves to growl, yell, and let everyone know he's around. He also has the cutest cheeks in the whole wide world. When he smiles, the mystery of who he is shines through his eyes and you can only wonder what kind of mischief he is thinking up next. He also is a character. The things he says (most of the time) have me laughing hysterically. It just comes naturally to him and when he has you laughing, it inspires him all the more to continue on.

Ryan also loves our special date time. His turn has come around but had to be postponed because he was sick. Every day he asks me if he's all better so we can go. Yesterday I had some errands to do and I thought that perhaps I would take him with me and while we were out I would stop and get him his favorite lunch, Burger King cheeseburger kids meal with a coke. He always tells me to not forget the toy and to not forget the coke :-)

He was so excited to be on a date with his Mom and he was also so excited to be at Target. He, like his Mom, enjoys shopping at that store. His excitement was played out as he ran back and forth in the aisle making all those boys noises he holds dear. As I was about to scold him for acting so crazy and that he needed to stick closer to the cart and to me, a mother's nightmare happened. Instantaneously he disappeared.

As I grabbed the cart and headed in the direction of where he was, the silence was deafening. I couldn't hear those boy noises which would lead me to him. All I could hear is the silence that rang out in my ear, that he was missing. After what seemed like an eternity, I started to panic. I looked and looked and called out his name. I thought surely he would have found the toy aisle and got distracted by all those fun items but as I went up and down those aisles, he was no where in sight.

I went back to where I was. Down on my hands and knees I went to see if he was hiding under the clothing racks, a place where he loves to play on previous trips. Much to my dismay, he wasn't there either. A sick feeling overcame me. What am I going to do? Even though we talked about it in the past, will he remember what to do if he gets lost? If the target employees were to call him over the intercom, would he even be aware that they were calling his name? Would he even know how to get to the service counter or where that was? That is a pretty big store to a five year old.

As I tried to compose myself enough to make my legs work and not buckle underneath me, I began heading in that direction for someone to help me. Then around the corner, two red-shirted Target employees had a little boy whose cheeks I recognized. When he saw me and I saw him, we ran to each other and both started crying. I was never so relieved to see the sight of him. In a moment like that, your mind goes in so many directions. Of course, at that moment, I was trying to decide whether to choke him or hang on to him for dear life. I chose to hang on to him. He was alright. And I kept thanking God for helping me in that situation.

After the panic died down to a tremble, I asked him why he did that. His only response was that he was trying to find the bathroom. Ughhh...it gets so complicated when our children are so desperately trying to be independent but aren't quite there yet. That was enough for me for the day. We quickly finished up the shopping and left....(I forgot quite a few things and must go back today) but at least my Ryan is none worse for the wear ( I can't say that about my nerves though!). The only comment he made to his father later that evening was he hoped his mother let me go outside again sometime. Perhaps he overheard my comment about never letting him go outside the house ever again for any reason ever!