There is this wonderfully hilarious auction that hit Ebay recently. I know this, not because I am an avid Ebayer but because it hit my 'inbox' like 50 times from different people I know. It took me like a couple days to get to it because well...I've got five kids. Should I explain further?
I have to say if you are currently surrounded by children, once were surrounded by children or even know somebody that was or is surrounded by children, it is a must read. It will give you a glimpse of or a reminder of what life is like. As I was reading it, I felt like I was reading a snippet from my life only it was funny and had me in stitches whereas when things like that happen to me, I'm just a crazy yelling fool of a mother. Take a minute, or two or three to check it out!
I have many of my own grocery store stories that I could share, one's that have led me to have a 'one kid' rule but I'll just share one from a recent experience....
Brad recently turned 12 and is chomping at the bit to earn some extra money. He has agreed to babysit for me when I've got some errands to run. This is a good idea except that no one ever wants to stay home. They have an alert system in place that goes off in their cute little heads, the minute I put my shoes on. It goes off even if I only put my shoes on to go into the laundry room, so that the sand that is from one of our recent camping trips doesn't stick to my feet. The shoes go on and I've got five little children surrounding me as close as they can get till the oxygen in my personal space is all used up and I have to bolt to another location of the house to get a breath.
About a week ago, I had some errands to run and decided that if I took the "twins" (they are not really but people ask) that maybe that would remove some chaos from the home, leaving Brad to have quiet time as Kara was napping. After two of the errands were completed, I excitedly thought to myself that I was still sane and intact as a calm Mother. The boys were a little rascally but nothing that sent me into crazy-mode.
My third and final errand was the grocery store. I agreed to take the boys because I wasn't going for a full grocery store run, I just had a few things to get. Don't ever let that thought fool you....it never is just a few things when you have a posse with you. The minute we hit the parking lot, the rumble of running feet could be heard clear to Tacoma, Washington. I grabbed my purse and was off on a run to (hopefully) catch up to them before they stormed the grocery store.
Upon entering the store, the cute little carts they have with a car attached to the front for the kids had them fighting over who was going to sit in it first. By the time I caught up with them, both of the buggers were in the seat at the same time trying to push the other out. That should have been my cue that we just walk back out the door and leave immediately. But do I listen to my instincts? Noooo....that would just be too easy. I need a challenge daily, apparently.
We made it through the produce department with only one lady getting angry at us because we were blocking the banana's while we were fighting over which bunch to purchase. Let me ask you, because I was under the assumption that a banana is just a banana, I didn't realize there were preferences to which banana would taste better....do you know? My two boys do know and were loudly explaining that with crying between words.
We then came to the lunch meat counter. There weren't many people standing there so I foolishly thought that I could get what I wanted rather quickly, before their attention span ran out and were off and running down the aisles. The meat cutter person couldn't find the ham out front that I asked for, so he had to go in the back, which took forever. In the meantime, the boys are bringing me stuff to put in the cart because they are trying to 'help'. Between gritted teeth, I was trying to get them to understand that Mommy's patience level was leaving the building and she didn't want to start screaming so early in the grocery store shopping adventure. They were oblivious.
After fighting with them over and over again with who was sitting in that stupid car cart, cookies, kool-aid jammers, pop and chips, I decided that I'd had enough to get us by for a day or so and that it was INDEED time to leave. While I'm trying to get through the checkout, the boys beg me and beg me for quarters that they want to put in the machine. Now you might think they are trying to get gumballs or something of that nature, but that isn't what they are wanting the quarters for. Have you ever seen the big red vending machine with all the flashing lights that happens to dispense lottery tickets? Yep, that's what the boys want. I tried to explain to them that those were the big people's gumball machines, (heh) but they wouldn't listen...it's pretty, flashy and is sure to dispense some wonderful treasure.
Perhaps the grocery store bagger felt sorry for me, or perhaps they were just trying to help me exit as fast as possible and loaded up my cart, pushing it out the door to my car for me. I think he was trying to be helpful and he was since I needed both of my hands to drag the cute little boys out the door before they really discovered the gumball machine that was meant for them.
After loading the vehicle with our groceries and getting them buckled in, I fell into my seat exhausted and desperately needing chocolate (that I forgot to purchase for me) or a Starbucks. I was overwhelmed with the reminder that I really, really need to stick to my 'one kid' rule. Don't let those lit up faces with adorable smiles melt your heart so you give in and let them go with you.....it's only their evil plan.
No comments:
Post a Comment