Choices

I'm up and I just can't sleep. It's been an incredibly tough day and my mind is going in a million different directions. We have many decisions to make today and it's going to be difficult.

I woke up yesterday ready to embrace my birthday fun! I came down the stairs to hear my oldest daughter frantically telling me to not go into the kitchen for any reason ever. So with a sigh and putting my desperate need for coffee aside, I went into the office, instead to wait.

A little bit later, I received word that it was time to enter the kitchen for my birthday breakfast. I was thrilled! It was hot and it was good. Grace had made me a ham and cheese omelet and also prepared pancakes to go along with it. As I savored every bite, I sat there remembering all the past birthday breakfasts. Most included cold toast and a ginormous liter of orange juice. The birthday breakfast has evolved and I noticed that year after year they get better. I am so thankful for a sweetheart of a daughter that finds it important to shower her mother with all kinds of love which includes birthday breakfast and wonderful cards.

After I had enjoyed my wonderful meal, we got a concerned call from my mother in law about my brother in law, Joseph. The day was then thrown into a frantic search for life. It ended terribly and not with the result our hearts were hoping for. Joseph had made a choice for his life that ended it too soon. You ask yourself if maybe you should have said this or said that. That, maybe in something you could have said, it would have changed things. You hope he knew how much you cared, how much you loved that person, how much he was a part of your life. But in the end, he chose.

The heartbreaking sorrow that has come as a result of that is awful. We must remember the wonderful brother that he was. He loved to tease and with it came a sparkle in his eye. He loved his nieces and nephews and would always be found in the midst of them when we were together. I pray that God will comfort all of them as he has left a big hole.

In spite of all of this, we saw God's hand tangibly. It showed through the love and support of our friends and family. It showed through the Sheriff and the detective. God was there. He was holding us up and giving us the courage to face the day.