The Mop

Once upon a time we had a mop. It was several years old but it worked sufficiently except for the sponge head that was wearing out. Mop heads do that, they wear out from use. So I went on the search to find a new mop head replacement that would once again clean the floor like nobody's business. Little did I know that they discontinued that particular mop and I could not find a mop head to fit it, not even a generic. However, I was hopeful that I would eventually come upon one and all would be well with the world. So we waited and we continued to mop paying no mind to the disintegrated pieces that it left behind.

Time passed and more of my old mop crumbled away leaving one of the ends unattached giving it the name, floppy mop. This makes it incredibly difficult to get this task done and it also increases the frustration point of the user. Instead of paying for a counseling session on how to properly vent one's anger towards a mop, I decided that it was time to look for a whole brand new mop instead of just a replacement head before there was nothing left of the old one. I tend to procrastinate sometimes. This was one of those times until my husband happened to be with me on a trip to the store and strong armed me into purchasing one. I guess he likes clean floors.

Down the mop isle we went. I said maybe we should wait. He said today was a great day to buy a new mop. I looked them all over trying to choose just the right one. The one that would just make my mopping experience special leaving me with the desire to do more. After much consideration, I made my choice. It was the Clorox Butterfly Mop. How could you go wrong with a brand that makes you think clean and a mop that was named after a beautiful little fluttery thing?

I couldn't wait to get it home and use it but first, it needed to age a little. I lovingly placed it where the old one once rested sending the old one to the great mop retirement center in the sky. After days of sticky kool-aid and spilled orange juice made their mark on my dirty floor, I gave in and brought out the new, sure-to-clean Clorox Butterfly mop. I just knew that this was going to be the wonder of all wonders and was all set to show off my sparkling clean floor.

The floor was ready to receive the first swipe at cleanliness. One swipe, two swipes and snap! The mop head was removed from the handle leaving me reeling with such disappointment. What is this that I see, I asked myself? How could this be? My mop which was once whole is now in two pieces. But alas, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my knight in shining armor swoop in on his mighty white steed (his sock feet) and effortlessly save the day. He 'clicked' the pieces back together as they were made to come apart. He assured me it was all better and that I could continue on.

I am here to tell you that this was not nor continues to be the case. The more and more I use this mop, the quicker it comes apart. My exciting mopping experience has quickly dissipated into a Donald Duck episode. My ire is up and this mop has fallen from my graces. My husband heard me in a fit of anger and asked me what exactly was wrong with the mop and so I began to show him. Once it falls off, I can't get it back on and then, I'm left to use the mop head down on my hand's and knees. This does not make for a happy wife, I explained. He looked it over and gave it a try himself only it didn't come apart for him. This only sent more irritation up my spine. Why is it when someone else gives the thing a try, it works perfectly but when I use it, it falls apart a gazillion times. It apparently has a grudge against me.

The last straw was this week when a bout of throw up landed on the floor. I won't go into all the curdled details but a mop was very necessary. Out came the cleaner and then came the mop. One swipe, two swipes and snap! Try and try as I might, the mop head was resisting being put back together. I declared to everyone who would listen that I absolutely refuse to get down on my hands and knees with the stupid mop head and clean that mess up! We all have our limitations.

Being the compassionate wife and mother that I am, came to my senses and did clean up the mess. The smell and the heaving sensations throw up brings is a great motivator to get it out of sight as soon as one possibly can. However, I refused to use the mop. We are not on speaking terms. I suppose I should consider purchasing a new one. I now know what I want and don't want in a mop. But I'm scared to step out and try a new one....