My Thoughts

I've had several people comment on the quantity of hardships our family has had to endure recently. My brother, even wanted to know how I was doing and if I had any thoughts or revelations through this 'season' we are living. Of course, I began to analyze it and this is what of come up with.

Through all that we experienced over the last year, the flood in our home, my husband's ankle, having a baby and a dash of this and that thrown in there for extra flavor and now this liver trauma, the very thing that God has been impressing on my heart is this:

There is nothing more important then your faith and trust in God and your obedience to Him. It is so very important to deepen that faith which is your root system that will hold you up through life's trials. If you don't have that, every little bump you come across in your life will send you toppled over. When things appear to be running smoothly, I encourage you to not let that opportunity run by but to communicate with God, ask him to help grow your faith. Then when life's trials come, you will be well equipped to handle the strong winds.

A very dear friend of mine asked me recently if I ever got angry at God. I won't lie to you or put on any front. My honest answer is yes. I've even had times when I got quite cynical. While I was going through it, I even felt guilty that I could even feel that way towards God. Think about it this way. When something or someone makes you so angry, it rises up and out it comes before you even have a chance to realize what is happening. I think that God is very familiar with anger. I also think that it's just fine to feel that way...for a time. What makes it wrong is when we seep in it and refuse to move away from it. Anger is another emotion that is part of the equation to working through or coming to terms with something.

You don't want to seep in it because that is when bitterness begins. I never want my heart to be bitter or hardened towards anything or anybody but I do want to acknowledge that it's there and I've felt it.

My other thought on this is that even though these 'trials' are overwhelming at times and stretch the very fibers of my sanity, I'm in awe as I see all the ways God uses each situation. I'm very thankful that he loves me enough to want me to grow closer to him, to lean on him and to learn more of him. I don't really learn as much when things are smooth sailing...but give me something difficult to tackle and I learn more about who God is and more about his traits during that time than I would in a lifetime of tulips, butterflies and rainbows.

I also look back and see how he's strategical placed his people around me to hold me up when I'm feeling at the end of my rope. He will never give us more than we can handle. Often times, I would like to know if I'm getting close to that fine line but I will just have to leave that in his hands. God takes the situation that you've endured and turns it around for you to minister and empathize with someone else whose experiencing something similar. I absolutely love it when I have the opportunity to be used by him to hold someone else up. How honored I feel that God would be able to use me in that way.

My conclusion is that the 'big' traumas that we experience help us to get the 'main' thing God is trying to teach us and these 'smaller' but still traumatic experiences are just refresher courses. I figure, when the time comes for me to leave this earth, I should have enough credits to get my doctorate!