Grieving

It occurred to me as I was sitting in my car today while waiting for my mother to come out of her doctor's appointment, that it was raining and all around yucky kind of day (on the bright side...it was almost 60 degrees in January which I'll take without complaint). Have you ever noticed that it always seems to be raining after a loved one has passed on. Maybe it's just coincidence but that is what it really seems like to me. As the rain was pouring down, I thought how appropriate it was as it is a solemn, reflective time for our family.

Death really gets one thinking. I think about all the ones left behind and what impact this has on them. I think about how losing one close to you changes everything. How you spend the holidays, how you look at your caller ID and it still has his name there, things that irritated you like being called Shiela when your name clearly was not that but now you wish you could hear it again, the way that person laughed....it still rings in the air. I think about my own death. Would I leave a big hole as my own father's death has. What kind of legacy am I leaving? What kind of impact am I having on those around me? What am I leaving behind that will be worth something and I'm not talking about money.

It's been fourteen years since I lost my Dad and seventeen years since I lost my Grandma. Their deaths have left a gaping chasm in my life that nobody can fill. Their lives left such an imprint on my life which I carry with me. I am so thankful that they loved God with all of their hearts and that one day I'll see them again. It's never easy to lose another loved one. It brings back, like a rush of flooding waters threatening to consume everything in it's path, many of the emotions I've felt from those I've lost before. Death is so very much part of this life. I look forward to the day when God wipes our tears and death is no more. For now....I've got a lot of livin' and lovin' to get in. Here's my 'Wish' for you.....I couldn't have said or sung it any better.